Such a failure
I can't do anything right, I wish there was a better way to describe myself then my usual repertoire of worthless, ugly, a failure etc, but there are no words to describe how repugnant I truly am.
My sister is angry with me because I fell asleep and couldn't help her with chores today. I can't help it, I sleep when I can and I feel so guilty for falling asleep. I just felt so sad and alone that I couldn't do anything else. I keep trying to distract myself so I don't do something stupid but no one in my family is talking to me today. Its selfish to want people to pay attention to me so I don't feel lonely but I do, and I hate myself for it. I want to talk to my friends but they are all asleep and I don't want to bother them. That and they all have their own issues and its cruel of me to drop my drama on them.
I keep thinking that I need to get away from my family because all I do is hurt them. I can't even do my fair share of the housework how fucking sad is that, no wonder my sister is mad at me. I don't have that much money but I can get a bus ticket for pretty cheap. If I leave tomorrow then my family will never have to deal with me again. I don't have a plan beyond this but I don't really care what happens to me. Maybe I can get a job or something idk. I really should just find a cave somewhere and live there, no one should have to deal with me. I don't want to be alone but living in total isolation is the best option for everyone. It isn't fair for me to even look at other people, I haven't done anything to deserve friends or love. I really think that me staying alive is the worst case scenario tho. I don't deserve to be alive, I haven't done a damn thing to earn my place in society. I'm a fuck up and I need to get rid of myself. It wouldn't be suicide as much as it would be pest removal. No, that isn't fair to pests, they at least have some meaning in this world. It would be more like weeding a garden. I'm a weed, I choke the life out of everything around me. Now I'm insulting weeds, they are plants and plants have meaning.
It would be like taking out garbage if i were to kill myself, I'm lower than garbage.
My sister is angry with me because I fell asleep and couldn't help her with chores today. I can't help it, I sleep when I can and I feel so guilty for falling asleep. I just felt so sad and alone that I couldn't do anything else. I keep trying to distract myself so I don't do something stupid but no one in my family is talking to me today. Its selfish to want people to pay attention to me so I don't feel lonely but I do, and I hate myself for it. I want to talk to my friends but they are all asleep and I don't want to bother them. That and they all have their own issues and its cruel of me to drop my drama on them.
I keep thinking that I need to get away from my family because all I do is hurt them. I can't even do my fair share of the housework how fucking sad is that, no wonder my sister is mad at me. I don't have that much money but I can get a bus ticket for pretty cheap. If I leave tomorrow then my family will never have to deal with me again. I don't have a plan beyond this but I don't really care what happens to me. Maybe I can get a job or something idk. I really should just find a cave somewhere and live there, no one should have to deal with me. I don't want to be alone but living in total isolation is the best option for everyone. It isn't fair for me to even look at other people, I haven't done anything to deserve friends or love. I really think that me staying alive is the worst case scenario tho. I don't deserve to be alive, I haven't done a damn thing to earn my place in society. I'm a fuck up and I need to get rid of myself. It wouldn't be suicide as much as it would be pest removal. No, that isn't fair to pests, they at least have some meaning in this world. It would be more like weeding a garden. I'm a weed, I choke the life out of everything around me. Now I'm insulting weeds, they are plants and plants have meaning.
It would be like taking out garbage if i were to kill myself, I'm lower than garbage.
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