Stupid, Stupid, STUPID
I run a dayhome. Essentially I run my own bussiness. I have filing, budgeting, schedules, taxes, and responsibilities. I don't mind it all, I enjoy organization and it's nice to have the responsibilities and not have to count on anyone else.
I have a rule. A very simple rule. YOU DO NOT MIX BUSSINESS WITH FRIENDS. I will do the odd casual care, where they pay that day. But I refused to take on friends kids. It's just bad juju.
Well in November my best friend was in a bind. She desperatley needed someone to watch her middle daughter for ten days in December. I was waiting for a new child to start in January so I agreed to do it. It went alright. We agreed she would pay me $150 for the month since the days I had her where usuallly five hours long.
All December she harrasses me to take on her son in the new year. On and on and on. I repeat no 1000 times. She's my best friend, has been for 20 years, and she has always had a hard time hearing no. So at the end of December I find out that my January child bailed and I'm suddenly without a kid to fill it. My pal finds out and lobbys for her son even harder. It got so bad that I started avoiding her, but it was the holidays so I couldn't do it forever right?
Like an IDIOT I finally caved! In the middle of January she pays me $125 from what she owes me for December. And we agreed to between $400-$500 per month from her son depending on hours. And a few days after she gives me a partial payment for her daughter she gives me $120 for her son.
Now, in February, I STILL haven't gotten more money. We barely made our bills as Joeys hours have been cut, plus, I was out at LEAST $380. We have $50 to last us all week and we are out of almost all of our groceries. Joey and I have our seven year anniversary this Thursday and we can't even go out to McDonalds!
And she tells me she should have money for me at the end of this week. Ya know, I get it, we are friends....but she's screwing me over here. I can be understanding....but I can't afford to let her always be late and constantly not pay me what's owed. As well, her hubby just put a lift kit on his truck but she can't pay thier child care bill???? The daughter I was watching in December is in a dayhome that she isn't friends with the provider. She keeps harassing me to take her daughter too but now I don't even want her son.
He has to be dropped off early on Friday so she asked if I would keep him overnight Thursday so her hubby didn't have to drive him here. I reminded her Thursday is my anniversary...but seriously???? Your crazy behind on your bill ALREADY but you want to know if I will keep him overnight???
I should also mention that, as much as I LOVE my best friend, her kids are BAD. They have no discipline, no structure, no rules. Her son breaks toys just because he can, he's violent, he refuses to listen. He's 3. I'm working with him but all the advances we make during the week vanish on the weekend when he's at home. Where they eat what they want, go to bed when they want, they aren't made to pick up toys or trash. In the summer they are allowed to run around in underwear with bare feet. In the winter they dress however they want. Just today I wanted to take the kids outside because it's +6...but she dropped her son off in pjs that have shorts as bottoms and no socks. He refuses to wear any of Marlows because they are girls. So now nobody gets to go outside! He isn't made to sit at the table during meal times so I have to strap him into a booster seat. He will scream if someone touches the toys she keeps letting him bring but he want's to play with everyone elses toys (he usually loses his toys and they go up until he goes home). She drops him off at 1030am JUST eating breakfast, so by noon when we eat lunch he isn't hungry and food goes to waste. Then he demands candy for snack and when I say no he pitches a fit. He punches, kicks and pinches the other kids. I've caught him TWICE peeing on my bathroom wall instead of in the toilet on purpose. Both times he had to clean it up and thankfully it hasn't happened again. He comes with a Diego blanket but once he forgot it so Marlow offered him her favorite Dora blanket. Now he demands it and screeches if someone else touches it. It's Mar's favorite blanket!! She was being kind by letting him use it but now he thinks it's his.
I informed them when I finally relented that quiet time is 1-3pm. Now they want me to keep him up and I refuse. Frankly, he's loud and destructive. None of the other kids would nap with him awake. And if he sleeps then maybe he needs it. They want him kept awake because the kids who are 3, 6, and 9 go to bed between 630-7pm! But none of them sleep until midnight or later because that's a ridiculous time to put them to bed. And I know it's because they can't handle their own children.
Marlow is NOT perfect. But whenever I've had enough I just have to spend some time with her kids.
Well, now that I feel like the WORST best friend EVER I actually feel a bit better. I have to have a talk with her and I'm not looking forward to it. We have been so close for 20 years, but money is a good breaker of relationships. Ugh, wish me luck.
I have a rule. A very simple rule. YOU DO NOT MIX BUSSINESS WITH FRIENDS. I will do the odd casual care, where they pay that day. But I refused to take on friends kids. It's just bad juju.
Well in November my best friend was in a bind. She desperatley needed someone to watch her middle daughter for ten days in December. I was waiting for a new child to start in January so I agreed to do it. It went alright. We agreed she would pay me $150 for the month since the days I had her where usuallly five hours long.
All December she harrasses me to take on her son in the new year. On and on and on. I repeat no 1000 times. She's my best friend, has been for 20 years, and she has always had a hard time hearing no. So at the end of December I find out that my January child bailed and I'm suddenly without a kid to fill it. My pal finds out and lobbys for her son even harder. It got so bad that I started avoiding her, but it was the holidays so I couldn't do it forever right?
Like an IDIOT I finally caved! In the middle of January she pays me $125 from what she owes me for December. And we agreed to between $400-$500 per month from her son depending on hours. And a few days after she gives me a partial payment for her daughter she gives me $120 for her son.
Now, in February, I STILL haven't gotten more money. We barely made our bills as Joeys hours have been cut, plus, I was out at LEAST $380. We have $50 to last us all week and we are out of almost all of our groceries. Joey and I have our seven year anniversary this Thursday and we can't even go out to McDonalds!
And she tells me she should have money for me at the end of this week. Ya know, I get it, we are friends....but she's screwing me over here. I can be understanding....but I can't afford to let her always be late and constantly not pay me what's owed. As well, her hubby just put a lift kit on his truck but she can't pay thier child care bill???? The daughter I was watching in December is in a dayhome that she isn't friends with the provider. She keeps harassing me to take her daughter too but now I don't even want her son.
He has to be dropped off early on Friday so she asked if I would keep him overnight Thursday so her hubby didn't have to drive him here. I reminded her Thursday is my anniversary...but seriously???? Your crazy behind on your bill ALREADY but you want to know if I will keep him overnight???
I should also mention that, as much as I LOVE my best friend, her kids are BAD. They have no discipline, no structure, no rules. Her son breaks toys just because he can, he's violent, he refuses to listen. He's 3. I'm working with him but all the advances we make during the week vanish on the weekend when he's at home. Where they eat what they want, go to bed when they want, they aren't made to pick up toys or trash. In the summer they are allowed to run around in underwear with bare feet. In the winter they dress however they want. Just today I wanted to take the kids outside because it's +6...but she dropped her son off in pjs that have shorts as bottoms and no socks. He refuses to wear any of Marlows because they are girls. So now nobody gets to go outside! He isn't made to sit at the table during meal times so I have to strap him into a booster seat. He will scream if someone touches the toys she keeps letting him bring but he want's to play with everyone elses toys (he usually loses his toys and they go up until he goes home). She drops him off at 1030am JUST eating breakfast, so by noon when we eat lunch he isn't hungry and food goes to waste. Then he demands candy for snack and when I say no he pitches a fit. He punches, kicks and pinches the other kids. I've caught him TWICE peeing on my bathroom wall instead of in the toilet on purpose. Both times he had to clean it up and thankfully it hasn't happened again. He comes with a Diego blanket but once he forgot it so Marlow offered him her favorite Dora blanket. Now he demands it and screeches if someone else touches it. It's Mar's favorite blanket!! She was being kind by letting him use it but now he thinks it's his.
I informed them when I finally relented that quiet time is 1-3pm. Now they want me to keep him up and I refuse. Frankly, he's loud and destructive. None of the other kids would nap with him awake. And if he sleeps then maybe he needs it. They want him kept awake because the kids who are 3, 6, and 9 go to bed between 630-7pm! But none of them sleep until midnight or later because that's a ridiculous time to put them to bed. And I know it's because they can't handle their own children.
Marlow is NOT perfect. But whenever I've had enough I just have to spend some time with her kids.
Well, now that I feel like the WORST best friend EVER I actually feel a bit better. I have to have a talk with her and I'm not looking forward to it. We have been so close for 20 years, but money is a good breaker of relationships. Ugh, wish me luck.
Replies
Good luck - yep never mix friends/family and business... or money. Never works out... it is a shame. As a friend I would never do that to another friend... but for whatever reason people are so weird... sorry this had to happen - hope she learns her lesson.
You\'re so right. I bought a car from my great uncle once. He asked me how it was a few months later and I told him it was great but I had to do something to it, brakes or somehting I can\'t remember. Well, he got PISSED. AT ME!! WTF. I never told him anything again and that car eventually bit the dust. so oh well. Never ever mix finances with friends or family. There are exceptions to that rule, but they are very few and far between. And require a contract.. lol
On the good side she DID pay me in the end, and a little extra for waiting those few days. I told her it was okay I waited this time but it can\'t happen again....lets see what happens with that this month!
I went through the samething with my bff. and I left and went to another job because I couldn\'t keep waiting I had bills to pay. hope it keeps working out for you.
Glad to hear she paid!