stuff.

gratefully sinking into a chair........whew.  regroup.

good morning.......how are you?

i conquered one of my morning chores.  i did not want to do it.  all this sinus pressure........ugh, but i pushed that extra bit, usually i put on music cause that always seems to help motivate.  i have all this music, a great little iron stand with basket weave shelving sam gave me, on it are hours and hours of music.  i have overlistened to carly simon lately.........how do i know? 

i notice that i hear her music in my mind as if there is an invisible radio in my head..........right now it's

Legend in Your Own Time

Well I have known you
Since you were a small boy
And your mama used to say
"My boy is gonna grow up and be
Some kind of leader some day"

Then you'd turn on the radio
And sing with the singer in the band
Your mama would say to you
"This isn't exactly what we had planned"

But you're a legend in your own time
A hero in the footlights
Playing tunes to fit your rhyme
But a legend's only a lonely boy
When he goes home alone.

.......there's more to the song, but this is the part I hear playing as I do stuff right now.  Is this really weird or is it normal considering my lifestyle?  I look over to my right and see a stack of shredded paper napkins on the floor.  This is Rio's game......pull on them, shred them and drag them around........fun for him, not so much fun for me.  He is also the one who shreds and pulls on the kleenex when I'm late getting up to feed them their breakfast.

When I woke up my sleep mask was not on correctly, sometime during the night I had pushed the nasal covering off my nose and it was up on my forehead.......guess I was having trouble breathing at some point and this was my out of it can't remember solution in the moment.  Feel like I didn't get enough good sleep at all.......I slept more already today.......from 6:30 am to 9:30.......but I think there will be another nap before lunch......it's 10 am Monday morning.

The pressure and general swollen feeling in my glands goes from the bottom of my neck to the top of my head......no that doesn't make sense exactly, the neck glands are swollen, the neck is angry ca use of disc problems and when i turn my head it feels drifty.....it makes me feel slightly dizzy.  my vision is off......can't read the screen at all this morning without readers.  do all my conditions affect my varying sight issues or is it primarily the sjogren's syndrome?

i wish i could articulate what my vision is like right now.....what i see doesn't seem as anchored as usual.  it's all there in front of me, but it is wonky.  i am wonky........feel sick to my stomach a bit.  general queasy wonkiness.......feels like a day to stay in bed with my eyelids down.  do less than usual ........ok.  it's ok, adjust and carry on.

i remembered to call optum rx and go over my meds with them, most of them needed to be reordered by the doctor, so they are handling that.  good.  i completed the paperwork for tomorrow's appt.  it's hanging on the door to the garage thanks so some of those magnetic clippy things.......reminds me that i have an appt, have the directions written down.......have to be there tomorrow by 1:40 for a two pm appt.  they say there is even more paperwork to complete on site, but how much more could there be?  but ok whatever dude.......

i found a new facial cleanser that smells like grapefruit, not sure why this one is working when the others stuff i got didn't but knock on wood yay!!!!  my skin is drying up, no new pimples in about a week........face is trying to heal and be a happy face again, clear of adult acne.  found it on the shelves at big lots of all places, it cost all of $2.  have all these other much pricier creams and cleansers that did not help me.  why is the body sooooo unpredictable.  and will i be able to find this cleanser ever again? 

so tired, you?????  when i sit very still i notice there is a audio thing going on........it's in my head but feels like it's out side my head.......you know how it sounds when  you lift a seashell to your ear and listen?  well this is a different but similar version of that........a kind of soft rushing with a vague and distant higher tone at the edges.  i dip my head as though to pray eyes cl osed and feel like a detached bobblehead for a sec.  don't want to keep my eyes closed if not in the prone position. 

time for me to stop trying to describe illness minutae and go back to bed.  right?  right!!!!!!!!  be kind to yourself today........extra extra kind......hugs, serce