Stuck in anxiety's waiting room

(cont from my last journal entry)

My breasts continue to hurt/itch after my period was over so I ended up making an appointment for Dec. 20 that was the earliest the had.  I could see my gp sooner but I think seeing an obgyn would be better.  The last two days the pain seems worse on both sides, if it gets two much worse then I may have to.  I wish it were this week.  My anxiety is at an all time high.  I vacilate between the worse case scenario of a rare form of breast cancer to it just being a yeast infection or something that is no big deal.  Now I have had yeast infections before in my breasts but that was only when I was breastfeeding, which i am definitely not currently.  So I broke my rule and looked up if woman can get yeast infection in their breasts when they are not breastfeeding and I found out they can but it is very unusal unless they have something else wrong like diabetes, or some other sickness that suppresses their immune system.  Finding out that did not do me any favors.  Because then I am like what is wrong with me that my body can't handle this.  Of course I am jumping the gun, I don't know what is actually wrong with me.  I need to remember looking up anything on google or webmd is a bad idea and will not comfort me in the long run and instead will only give me new things to fear and be anxious about.  

I am trying to keep it together for my family so they don't have to suffer the side effects of me losing it, so far I am handling it.  Although I need more sleep or I wont be able to hold it together for them.  I am so tired.  I hate the emotional rollar coaster I have been on.  I just want to know whats wrong.  I go from it's no big deal and freaking out wont help anything to it is the worse case scanario then I feel a panic attack coming on.  I don't know.  I have to wait it out for now.  I pray God will deliver me, heal me, wait with me, and comfort me.