Struggling for peace within and without
Tonight I waited for a bus with a friend. We stood at a stop where Ive boarded many times before, and the bus eventually rolled down the street. Only, the driver stopped maybe 30 feet down the road from where we were standing and honked. I thought he might have been honking at the taxi trying to go around him, and so I stood still. A second later, I realized he might have wanted us to walk down to him. For real? I thought. WTF?
A moment later, he pulled the bus forward and out into the second lane, preparing to turn the corner to continue his route. I stepped out into the street and put my arms up. I was afraid he was going to pass my friend and me by.
He slowed down and opened the doors. You didnt hear me honking at you? he asked when we stepped on board.
Yeah, but you were down there, and the stops up here, I told him, annoyed.
No, its NOT, he replied indignantly.
Stop.
Lets consider the facts here: My friend and I were standing at the shelter; the bus stop sign for that route was next to the shelter, as it had always been; once on board the bus, I looked back to see if there was a CTA service notice posted somewhere saying the stop had been moved down the street but no.
So, unless the driver knew something or thought something that wasnt made clear to us passengers, he was just talking out of pride.
This really annoys me. He could have said, Yeah, but I had to make that turn, and I couldnt do it from the curb up here with the line of cars on the next street. Okay I think I would have understood that. I think I would have warmed to him. Instead, he spit out a bull---- line out of pride
What to do? I thought of asking his badge number and reporting him to the CTA. Would that have been worth it? My asking him for his ID number would have been an act of one-upmanship on my part or, if you like, an attempt to maintain my OWN pride. (I could just as easily have noted down the buss number without talking to him.) Had I done that, though, I then would have had to put in the effort to actually take down his number AND deal with his likely nastiness in return. Then, Id have to remember to write the CTA, find the time to write the CTA, and actually craft an e-mail to the CTA. To which I may never hear back.
For what? So I could say a virtual F--- you to the driver who may or may not ever hear the message?
Would it have been worth my time and effort?
Another way to think about it: Would that have helped a different passenger in the future? Im guessing not. Would it change the course of history for my friend and me? No. Would it humble the driver? Id like to think so, but that's perhaps a pipe dream; the driver could well go to his grave with indignation.
Lastly, would my saying to his face that I wanted his badge number and threatening to report him have brought us closer together as human beings? That which I hunger and struggle for in this world?
Obviously not.
So, I look back at the incident this way: At the time, I acknowledged my anger and made a quick, though deeply considered, decision as to whether or not acting further on that spark of anger would be what would make me happy.
The scale came down on no.
I look forward to the day, God willing, when I can feel at peace enough inside so that something like this doesnt rock me, because I realize its the other persons issue, NOT mine. That I dont have an ego to protect; that I dont have pride to maintain; that Im just observing the other persons struggle. Until that day comes, if it does, I will put all my might into struggling for peace.
A moment later, he pulled the bus forward and out into the second lane, preparing to turn the corner to continue his route. I stepped out into the street and put my arms up. I was afraid he was going to pass my friend and me by.
He slowed down and opened the doors. You didnt hear me honking at you? he asked when we stepped on board.
Yeah, but you were down there, and the stops up here, I told him, annoyed.
No, its NOT, he replied indignantly.
Stop.
Lets consider the facts here: My friend and I were standing at the shelter; the bus stop sign for that route was next to the shelter, as it had always been; once on board the bus, I looked back to see if there was a CTA service notice posted somewhere saying the stop had been moved down the street but no.
So, unless the driver knew something or thought something that wasnt made clear to us passengers, he was just talking out of pride.
This really annoys me. He could have said, Yeah, but I had to make that turn, and I couldnt do it from the curb up here with the line of cars on the next street. Okay I think I would have understood that. I think I would have warmed to him. Instead, he spit out a bull---- line out of pride
What to do? I thought of asking his badge number and reporting him to the CTA. Would that have been worth it? My asking him for his ID number would have been an act of one-upmanship on my part or, if you like, an attempt to maintain my OWN pride. (I could just as easily have noted down the buss number without talking to him.) Had I done that, though, I then would have had to put in the effort to actually take down his number AND deal with his likely nastiness in return. Then, Id have to remember to write the CTA, find the time to write the CTA, and actually craft an e-mail to the CTA. To which I may never hear back.
For what? So I could say a virtual F--- you to the driver who may or may not ever hear the message?
Would it have been worth my time and effort?
Another way to think about it: Would that have helped a different passenger in the future? Im guessing not. Would it change the course of history for my friend and me? No. Would it humble the driver? Id like to think so, but that's perhaps a pipe dream; the driver could well go to his grave with indignation.
Lastly, would my saying to his face that I wanted his badge number and threatening to report him have brought us closer together as human beings? That which I hunger and struggle for in this world?
Obviously not.
So, I look back at the incident this way: At the time, I acknowledged my anger and made a quick, though deeply considered, decision as to whether or not acting further on that spark of anger would be what would make me happy.
The scale came down on no.
I look forward to the day, God willing, when I can feel at peace enough inside so that something like this doesnt rock me, because I realize its the other persons issue, NOT mine. That I dont have an ego to protect; that I dont have pride to maintain; that Im just observing the other persons struggle. Until that day comes, if it does, I will put all my might into struggling for peace.
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