struggling but gaining ground

my day was up and down - from vaguery, to self knowledge and back again...

moods of pleasantness and woe - highs and lows - I wish I had a better connection with my mind

but I think that's starting to come... I was with my father and stepmom today

and I felt as though the gordian knot of my confusion was untied at last

and I felt I understood myself and them. Then I returned home only to find myself

suddenly face blind to myself and at the whims of my raw energy - I didn't know how to manage..

but then I slowly tried to reach within to listen to life to see what it was trying to tell me. I needed to steady

myself with the kind of 'routines of life' and that helped me have a sense or order and anticipation

for what comes next... I felt a sense of knowing. But you never know what's coming around

the corner mentally with me - it's frustrating - and yet I want to and must bet on myself

and my aspirations in life to keep on keeping on.

peace.