struggling.
stressing out....i am not functioning worth two spits.
need to get meds, can't. need to get paperwork to insurance company, can't. need to something else important but i've already forgotten what it is since i started typing.
feel like a puny little punk.......oh yeah, i'm trying to fix my finances in a smart responsible way. select an ethical partner to do this with........the money thing can be solved just need to be able to concentrate long enough to set it up, but first to choose a good company to be in a position of positive team work with......
i am so sorry when i get like this.......my glands are too big, i can't get to the doc tomorrow to get my labs done, to have that in house procedure done..............i couldn't seem to figure out how to get a call to even go through today. and then i couldn't hear the lady for anything........but i did get it cancelled so that is a good thing.
there is a lot positive in the world....even mylittle pitiful puny punked out self corner of the world......there are clean clothes, toilet paper........always a good thing right? a soft bed......even if i don't have the energy to take out the wrinkles.......fluff the pillows.
i cried before i wrote this, so that's one less thing to worry about.........just being here with y'all for a few makes me feel a little braver.............God bless YOU!
Replies
Ruthie so sad you are not doing so well. Could maybe Sam help you? Don't be afraid to ask for help. Your kids won't know how bad you feel, unless you talk to them. Crying is a good stress release. When things get too much for me, I have a good cry. I try to get out each day. It gives my brain a rest from all the worrying. You are a sweetheart and you don't give yourself enough credit for the things you can do. No matter how small they seem, it's huge when you are chronically ill. Love you sweetie. Better days are ahead. Xoxo Sending prayers your way.
Dear sweet Ruthie, I am sorry you aren't doing good today. I get brain fog on a regular basis, and can't figure out what to do next. Maybe get some good restful sleep and if you can't sleep, you could just sit quietly and just let your mind relax and quiet down. I usually play some soft music. Tomorrow is another day to do what we couldn't do the day before. I'm sending you lots of love and comforting hugs across the miles to embrace and comfort you. xoxoxoxo
I'm so sorry, love. I know how it feels. It is so frustrating to look around and see everything you "should" be doing and you can't. Try to rest, but I do get it. Poor dear. Much love.
Ruthie, hate to read that you are struggling. At times I feel like "struggling" is now part of my new name, "the old struggling hibernating hermit bear."
Sending prayers & hugs your way that life will improve for you.
Oh, Ruthie...... Call one of your children, or someone who can help you sort things out. Make a list - I keep a list (several lists, really) on the refrigerator. Grocery list, calendar with appointments listed, dates for med refills, a gotta do timeline for everything ........ I have a dry erase board, a calendar, and some note pads attached to the fridge with magnets ...... If I didn't keep everything in plain sight, there are days when I wouldn't be able to keep anything straight!
Relax. Sleep. Pet your kitties. Eat well.
Call someone to come sort the paperwork and make some phone calls for you. I know Sam would do it! Shoot - wish we didn't live so far apart so I could help!
Feeling for you beautiful. I know what it feels like. I'm behind in bookwork...a year late for my tax return. I have a temporary crown still in my mouth that should have been finished in 2016 and now it's 2017. I have my second appointment with my heart doctor next Thursday to see if my leaking valves are any worse. I should have seen him years ago. Oh dear. I just can't find the mental or physical energy to get things done. I keep missing the train. Left behind at the station in durr land. All so hard. If I'm that hopeless with a husband, I would probably just turn into a mouldy whatever and die without a husband.
Seriously you do an AMAZING job. You keep so much together Ruthie. You live alone with a sick body and somehow keep it all going. I couldn't do it. I do write lists out everyday but very rarely achieve it all. When I'm bedridden, I keep my same list and just change the day on it until I'm up and moving again. Eventually I complete my list even it is a week late. Oh dear lol!
Crying is good. Gotta let it out my friend. I cry a lot. This disease has turned me into the biggest sook on the planet. So many little things that people do every day can feel like marathons to us. It's bloody hard Ruthie. However we are all doing our best to keep our lives inorder. Today I just want to hide under my doona and not come out. I'm overwhelmed with a hundred things all at once. We have a cyclone coming this weekend. Give yourself some credit my friend and stay strong. Love always Di xoxox
My poor little sparrow! Go to bed. Go hibernate. Be gentle with yourself. If I were closer, I'd totally help you out...get your meds, take you to doctors' appointments...be your Tinkerbell...bring you pizza! Do what you can and leave the rest for later. The sun will rise tomorrow, I promise!
Give yourself a gentle hug for me.
Love you, Ruthie!