Struggleing

I don't know if I can take this.  I don't know how to be strong for my sister when I can't even get through a day without crying or throwing up.  I can't eat or sleep.  I don't know how to handle this.  My sister is so healthy and suddenly out of no where she has breast cancer?  It doesn't make any sense.  She is so young.  I try to be positive in my thoughts but my heart doesn't feel it.  i just feel so so so scared and faint.  Like I am in a nightmare.  I can't even think straight about daily things.  I can't imagine what she is feeling.  I want this not to be happening.  I want to run away and not know anything about this.  God make me strong, make me calm, so I can support my sister and give her strength.  i am falling apart.  It hurts so much.  It is soooo painful.  I feel like I am morning her and I don't want to do that.  People survive breast cancer.  They do.  I have seen it.  But this my sister, my only sister, and it makes things so much different.  I love her so much.