Struggling

So I haven't technically pulled today, but I've come really, really close. It's so horrible when I'm at work (I have my own office, so it's easy for me to do without anyone seeing), and I just feel that tension mounting. I guess I'll start taking walks around the office or something - but it's a small office!!! I think I'll have to go for a long run this afternoon... Just been stressed about so many things lately. I'm going to a law school open house on Friday, and I'm really nervous about it; I've been having money issues (although who doesn't?); and I'm really bummed after reading yesterday about how many people have told their friends about trich. Honestly, at this point, I'm worried that my friends would be hurt that I never told them; I just don't know how to bring it up since no one ever asks me about it. I'm worried, too, that even if they still want to be friends with me, they'll always think of me as different or weird, even if they don't say so. It's just so, so hard, and I've told a few of my closest friends who I thought could handle it (they did), but I actually have gotten really bad reactions in the past to it. I know that if they react badly, they're not really my friends... but that doesn't make it any easier to handle.
Argh!!! I just hate feeling exposed and vulnerable, y'know?
But I am doing better. And I am currently typing with taped fingers, so there's that. It's really hard to stay positive, but I feel like maybe, just maybe, this can be the year that something major finally happens...
I just really want to be able to tell everybody about the times I used to pull my hair.