Strong!

I'm in a better state mentally today for the most part. I'm still suffering from brief bouts of depression, but that's about all that is bad for my mind. I'm dealing with the physical effects of depression, though. I slept until 4:30 pm and I haven't eaten anything today. I don't feel like cooking, so I'm going to go out to dinner with Geo so I can eat. I think we are going to a buffet, even though I can't eat too much, I still need lots of calories. I just hope this goes away soon... that and my stomach was cramping today (It's not because of lack of food, I have IBS) so I had to take my pills around 1 pm and then went back to sleep. Until I got out of bed this afternoon, I had only gotten out of bed twice- once for a bathroom run, and once to let Angela out since she was meowing at the door. I don't feel depressed, but I know my body is depressed nonetheless.

I leave on April 18th. On Friday, I will find out the exact time that I will be receiving my shipping container for my stuff. That comes next weekend. I'm excited about the move, and I know that it is the best thing for me. My therapist agrees, as well. She sees both Geo and I, and we have allowed her to talk to us about each other. Julieta, the therapist, says that I'm making the right decision, taking care of myself, and that it's perfectly normal to be feeling this way.

As for last night, it was good. When I talk about it, it's hard to see that it could be good, but I will get to that. I went to go see an old friend from LA yesterday. I have known her since high school. I texted her yesterday morning, asking her if she wanted to hang out. She said yes, and that she was going to be done at 9. Later on, I ask her what hotel she is staying at, and she says "The Hampton". I get ready, get on the bus and text her saying "I'm on the way". I get to her hotel, and she's not there. I text her saying I was in the lobby, and she is surprised, like I wasn't supposed to be there. It was frustrating. Her phone was dying, so I just texted her back and forth every now and then. I waited over 2 hours for her, and finally she texts me saying that she was outside. I was at the wrong Hampton! She just had surgery and was in a lot of pain, so we didn't hang out. I'm hoping to see her tomorrow or Friday.

Why was that good? What good could come of being stood up? Well, I have Borderline Personality Disorder, and I have an intense fear of abandonment. I didn't freak out! I was calm and didn't feel stupid despite all of that. I'm very proud of myself for that. I didn't know I had it in me... normally I start crying after 30 minutes, and obsessively call/text until I give up and go home. I'm happy about that. I hope I can be like that the next time I am in that situation.