STRESS, or, how my anxiety ruined my day

i have anxiety. i've always battled with it, it seems like. i remember, before, i battled with my identity, i didn't know who i was or what i wanted. i hated myself. but now i love myself, but i'm still anxious. i'm anxious over the things i can't do. the things i can't do right. the things that will never get done, never get finished because I'M NOT ABLE TO. all the things i can't do because i can't start. i'll never get this shit under control. i feel that i'm completely terrible with time management. it stresses me out so much that i'd just rather curl up and sleep and ignore it all. which stresses me even more because it's shit that i CAN NOT IGNORE. i hate myself<----which was just a passing thought,, i mean, i feel really disgusted with myself right now. i'm a failure. i can't get shit done right, so why the fuck even bother?
so. i stress myself right out of motivation. i wish i had motivation<---all the while, in the back of my head i'm putting myself down.
if i even THINK about starting to do something, i start feeling stressed, i start feeling the anxiety. so usually, i just back away from the activity, to avoid the stress. this fuckin anxiety drains me of my energy COMPLETELY. and i just wish i could get stuff done.

i feel just so fuckin stuck. i just want to be able to feel accomplished for once.