stress or anxiety and putting it in place
I have found myself today doing something that I have done oh so many times in the past.
I have done chores and then once finished, I have sat down on the couch in front of the tv
as a way to calm down. I mean, I feel like I can still go go go to do more chores but part of
me gets frightened, like I don't know when to stop and so I sit on the couch in front of the TV
and just watch. Now watching TV doesn't solve the problem usually. I usually fidgit while watching
and struggle to connect with enjoyably a show on tv. Sometimes I find things - but other times I don't.
So I took the opportunity to look at this fidgiting - stress and anxiety - while watching tv, because I watch
because I don't really know what else to do with myself. I become so stressed and anxious because I am too
afraid I guess to figure out what to do with the empty broad open time. Writing about this helps because it helps
me see that I could do something else rather than just force feed myself television.
Replies
I think I have kind of talked about this before but I guess it's got a new form today. Maybe I could get a bicycle
and ride round the hood. Or go to the movies again. Or invite a friend out for coffee. I could brain storm.
These ideas don't have the same validating reward of doing my work - and they kind of invite a freewheeling
happiness that has to come down crashing to earth when reality comes back. Anyways - it's life.
To my mind, a quality TV and work have in common is that they are easier than thinking and/or deciding for myself.
Yes, you have more than kinda talked about this before, but it is allot to sort and well worth all the re-writes. Little things make big diffs.
thanks arfie!
I am starting to realize when I am alone, the pressure builds up in me, and I think I need to accept that. Question what I am doing and what the real issue is. I don't do so well on my own - and I can expect for the pressure and melancholy to build up when I am alone. I need to move my chair to get a better view so to speak. When I was a kid I kind of enjoyed being on my own. Now not so much. I need to realize if I am unhappy being sedentery and alone - then what can I do to change that? Create an activity. ANY ACTIVITY. Doesn't have to be a big production :), I think tomorrow I will go to get coffee at the Barnes and Noble and poke around at the books and magazines. :)
When I was a kid I didn't have so much riding on what I did in terms of responsibility or ownership. Now I have a different set of pressures to fulfill - and so that might be one of the influences.
just thoughts. I will go to the book store tomorrow.
I keep waiting for *Deep Meanings* to give my existence *Great Significance."
Lately I'm going with Mother Teresa's instruction to the many idealists who came to her for advice. "If you want to change the world, just do what is in front of you."
Sometimes just sharing a simple smile or picking up litter is plenty.
Thanks arfie indeed!!!