Stressed
It's been a while since I last wrote anything, I've been busy. I took on extra credit hours this semester to keep myself busy, but they're all senior/grad level classes so it's taken up a little more time than I thought it would. I got hired as a TA for two classes and as an RA for a professor. On top of that, I still get asked to work weekends at my chef job.
I've been good about eating and I haven't broken down and started cutting. I have been losing weight that I didn't want to lose, though, not that I don't necessarily want to lose it, just that I know I don't need to lose it. I eat three meals a day, and they're properly portioned. I let myself eat foods outside of my safe zone because I know I can slip once in a while. I didn't lose weight when I was jogging every day and doing physical therapy twice a day all summer. I think all of my stress is the problem.
I want a break from everything.
I haven't talked to my ex in 3 months, which has been good and bad. I'm more over her now, but I do miss the friendship. Just wish I had someone I could talk to once in a while, there's something about guy friends that just doesn't cut it.
I had been talking to a girl, and we were considering dating. She was seeing someone in the military that's going out of the country for a few years, but he hasn't responded to her texts or calls for the last 2 months. I decided against pursuing anything with her because she seems to always talk about looks. She tells me I look good, so it's not like I think she thinks I'm not good enough, but it bothers me that she likes me because of that. Seems like a paradox that I worry so much about needing to look perfect, but then I want someone to like me because of my personality and character more than appearance. I don't want to spend my life with someone that makes me feel like I need to stress over how I look.
I've been good about eating and I haven't broken down and started cutting. I have been losing weight that I didn't want to lose, though, not that I don't necessarily want to lose it, just that I know I don't need to lose it. I eat three meals a day, and they're properly portioned. I let myself eat foods outside of my safe zone because I know I can slip once in a while. I didn't lose weight when I was jogging every day and doing physical therapy twice a day all summer. I think all of my stress is the problem.
I want a break from everything.
I haven't talked to my ex in 3 months, which has been good and bad. I'm more over her now, but I do miss the friendship. Just wish I had someone I could talk to once in a while, there's something about guy friends that just doesn't cut it.
I had been talking to a girl, and we were considering dating. She was seeing someone in the military that's going out of the country for a few years, but he hasn't responded to her texts or calls for the last 2 months. I decided against pursuing anything with her because she seems to always talk about looks. She tells me I look good, so it's not like I think she thinks I'm not good enough, but it bothers me that she likes me because of that. Seems like a paradox that I worry so much about needing to look perfect, but then I want someone to like me because of my personality and character more than appearance. I don't want to spend my life with someone that makes me feel like I need to stress over how I look.
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