Stomach Problems All Night
Yesterday I must have eaten some bad turkey, since that's the only thing Geo didn't eat with me. I'm glad that we both didn't get sick, though, because we only have one bathroom. That's one of my biggest worries about the apartment we live in- the lack of multiple bathrooms. I was in and out of the bathroom in the middle of the night all night, and it wasn't fun. After a while, I couldn't fall back asleep, so I had to take a sleeping pill to get back to sleep. All in all, I was up for about 3 hours, from 4am to after 7am. I woke up and still had some problems, but it wasn't as bad as it was in the middle of the night. I tried to take it easy with food today, since I didn't want to upset my poor tummy even more. I had a sandwich for breakfast, and chicken for lunch and dinner. I was going to make chicken soup for dinner, but I didn't feel like eating chicken soup, so I had chicken with mac and cheese. Maybe not the best choice for my tummy, but it settled okay.
I spent almost all of today in bed. I just felt like crap and didn't want to get out of bed, so that's why. I was feeling sick for most of the day, so I just lay there. I read some, but mostly just lay in bed and rested. I'm tired now, and I hope I sleep tonight. I got about 12 hours of sleep last night total, with the breaks included, plus an hour nap in the middle of the day. I did manage to clean the litter box, make dinner, and take out that stinky trash from last night. On the days when you feel like crap you have to count every little thing you do as an accomplishment, since it's too hard to do the big things. I also did my exercises for the day, my strength training, so that was done too. I don't have a lot of things that I did today, but I should be proud I did anything.
Mood today was okay... I started getting depressed a little while ago thinking about money. Money is one of those triggers that almost always stresses me out (like everyone). I'm broke, and I don't know what I'm going to do for people for Christmas presents. Luckily at work I don't think anyone is expecting anything from me, so that's good. I just don't know what to do when someone expects something and I don't have the money for it. I already got Geo his present, so that's taken care of, but things like for my mom and stuff I don't know. It doesn't help that I have so much debt I'm paying off (credit cards and student loans) and I'm trying to be responsible and pay it off. I don't live beyond my means, but I try my best to stay within them.
It just means I have to cut out things I want for myself. I have had to cut back on therapy to once a month because I can't afford any more, and I don't buy a lot of things for myself. I give myself about $20 a month in spending money. This month I only used $10, but $5 has to go to laundry now since I just did more laundry the other day. This leaves me $5 for the rest of the month, a week, so I think I did pretty good. I use my spending money for food at work, for the times when I get hungry and I can't get home and I'm out of food in my backpack. I try and take food with me, so that way I don't have to buy food, but sometimes I forget and so I have some money for food. I normally only spend a couple dollars at a time, so $20 is a lot, but still. It's all the free money I get for the month, and I feel bad for even giving myself that much.
Food today I was super low on calories again... below 1,000. I just didn't want to force any food into me that I wasn't ready for. I think for today it's okay, since I have to be careful with how my stomach reacts to food. Yesterday I was under 1,000 as well. I don't think I've been losing weight, though, because it's not enough calories to lose weight. I need to eat more to lose, and especially after a big holiday like Thanksgiving, I need to be meeting my calories to lose. Stress was high today when I was thinking about money at first, but doing this journal helped a bit. I just need to re-focus and get my mind on things that I should be, like getting to work tomorrow. Sleep last night was broken, like I said above, with the bathroom breaks which were no fun. Mood today was good, I'm just going to put okay since I didn't get out of bed all day and my mood wasn't really tested. The real test comes tomorrow when I have to get up and go to work. I don't want to go, but I need to make myself. It gives me purpose and a reason to get out of bed. I need those reasons to get out of bed to keep me going.
I spent almost all of today in bed. I just felt like crap and didn't want to get out of bed, so that's why. I was feeling sick for most of the day, so I just lay there. I read some, but mostly just lay in bed and rested. I'm tired now, and I hope I sleep tonight. I got about 12 hours of sleep last night total, with the breaks included, plus an hour nap in the middle of the day. I did manage to clean the litter box, make dinner, and take out that stinky trash from last night. On the days when you feel like crap you have to count every little thing you do as an accomplishment, since it's too hard to do the big things. I also did my exercises for the day, my strength training, so that was done too. I don't have a lot of things that I did today, but I should be proud I did anything.
Mood today was okay... I started getting depressed a little while ago thinking about money. Money is one of those triggers that almost always stresses me out (like everyone). I'm broke, and I don't know what I'm going to do for people for Christmas presents. Luckily at work I don't think anyone is expecting anything from me, so that's good. I just don't know what to do when someone expects something and I don't have the money for it. I already got Geo his present, so that's taken care of, but things like for my mom and stuff I don't know. It doesn't help that I have so much debt I'm paying off (credit cards and student loans) and I'm trying to be responsible and pay it off. I don't live beyond my means, but I try my best to stay within them.
It just means I have to cut out things I want for myself. I have had to cut back on therapy to once a month because I can't afford any more, and I don't buy a lot of things for myself. I give myself about $20 a month in spending money. This month I only used $10, but $5 has to go to laundry now since I just did more laundry the other day. This leaves me $5 for the rest of the month, a week, so I think I did pretty good. I use my spending money for food at work, for the times when I get hungry and I can't get home and I'm out of food in my backpack. I try and take food with me, so that way I don't have to buy food, but sometimes I forget and so I have some money for food. I normally only spend a couple dollars at a time, so $20 is a lot, but still. It's all the free money I get for the month, and I feel bad for even giving myself that much.
Food today I was super low on calories again... below 1,000. I just didn't want to force any food into me that I wasn't ready for. I think for today it's okay, since I have to be careful with how my stomach reacts to food. Yesterday I was under 1,000 as well. I don't think I've been losing weight, though, because it's not enough calories to lose weight. I need to eat more to lose, and especially after a big holiday like Thanksgiving, I need to be meeting my calories to lose. Stress was high today when I was thinking about money at first, but doing this journal helped a bit. I just need to re-focus and get my mind on things that I should be, like getting to work tomorrow. Sleep last night was broken, like I said above, with the bathroom breaks which were no fun. Mood today was good, I'm just going to put okay since I didn't get out of bed all day and my mood wasn't really tested. The real test comes tomorrow when I have to get up and go to work. I don't want to go, but I need to make myself. It gives me purpose and a reason to get out of bed. I need those reasons to get out of bed to keep me going.
Replies
Hope you get feeling better and its nothing serious. Eating and meeting calories is very difficult especially when you just dont feel good. Be sure to drink plenty of liquids so you dont dehydrate.
Wow do i know how money issues go it is so hard this time the year with the holidays. Im doing a couple things that dont cost as much money for people and being resourceful because my budget is so tight... friends im baking cookies with the kids and giving boxes with homebaked things in them.... for grandparents im doing digital scrapbooks with the grandkids pictures from 2011 and printing them to make books with the kids as gifts. I think alot of people understand more than we think about being short on money and will understand if you cant give presents this year..... but i know its still hard.
Hope you can get good night rest and work goes ok for ya tomarrow. Huggzzz
the darn internet lost my last 2 comments from your journals. money, money, it just doesnt end. i dont like that you are going to lessen your therapy in order to give to others. you are the most important and i feel you should be the number 1 prioity.very difficult i know, but you need the help, what good is it if uou spend the money on gifts and you get worse? i dont want that to happen to you. i really like goog2go\'s ideas, people actually appreciate something homemade, esp. baked goods. i also agree that these days, people know how far you have to make a dollar stretch, so dont fret over that. i am sorry you were sick, eating is the last thing you want to do with an upset stomach, i think you did really good considering. hugssss