still worrying

Okay, I know this may seem a little off balanced.  All of this weekend has been great--my H has been out of town going to a wedding for his friend, my kids and I have had a blast, so what's there to complain about? There should be nothing.  Yet, I can't quench this gnawing pit of worry in my stomach that my H is actually out with another woman.  Why should I care?  We've already agreed that we're getting a divorce.  So it shouldn't matter, right? The sad thing is, when I told him I wanted a divorce, in no way did that mean that I no longer loved him.  It just meant that I could no longer live with him.  Sick as it is, I know I will always have heart strings tied to this man.  But I knew that it would never be fair to him, as I could no longer love him in the way that I used to.  Still, the thought of him and another woman is not something I think I can bear at this moment.  And honestly, I wouldn't have worried so much about his absence except for a few things: 1) He told me the wedding was going to be on Friday at 1:00.  That's why he had to leave Thursday evening. However, when my son called him at 7:30 Friday night, my H told him the wedding was just beginning. Why did he lie about that? 2) He originally said that he was going to come back on Saturday.  After all, his friend was going to be gone away on a honeymoon.  Magically, Saturday became Sunday.  What was he doing?  3)I don't know what he was doing, but it was obiously no good.  Twice Saturday night, my son tried to call him.  Instead, my H just kept texting him back, instead of physically calling him.  Makes me wonder what he didn't want our son to hear.  4) He is now planning to move to Oklahoma City, where he has spent this weekend.  OK City is 5 hours away from our kids.  I know he has his friend there to get him up and started, and he says that he could get a good paying job there.  But there are plenty of other cities much closer where he could get the same thing.  As much as I despise his acts, I can't bear the thought of our kids having their father so far away.  And according to them, neither can they.   What's probably even more sicker is that I'm still caught up in the same worries that I had before the A--hoping that his drive back is okay, hoping that his truck doesn't break down, hoping that he doesn't get sick, etc.  But seriously, did he ask himself these questions when he chose to go out and sleep around, then contract an STD and give to me? Did he ask himself what he was leaving behind for his wife and kids as he planned to move so far away from us?  Did he question the events in their lives that he is going to miss out on? Did he question the devastion that they will face, especially once he has left?  Does he think about the possible repercussions our daughter's life will have now that our daughter has seen pictures of him and the OW together, holding hands and cuddling, knowing that he did this while her mom and dad were still married?  And does he even realize that there will only be one person now to help them work through this (me)?   Obviously not.  SO why am I still so worried about his well being?   Because I am a different person than he is.  Period.