still hard

Its still hard at times even with it being 22 days ago. I know I was only 7 weeks along but that is 7 weeks. I go through the town that we live in and I see women pregnant and houses that have things outside their home that say new baby. I know that i have two very healthy boys that i love but its like a part of me is gone when i lost our baby, i call the angel 'baby high'(it would have been its last name). We still dont know if we are going to try again or just stop where we are at right now. dont get me wrong, i love my boys more than anything in the world and would do anything for them. I guess that i am still having a hard time with it all. There are times that i wish that i could be back in my hometown in the Boro and able to talk to my doctor that i would go and see at times when i needed to talk to about some things when i needed to. I thought about call him and see if he could do anything over the phone but i dont think that he will. so i guess that i will have to wait to see if i can get to see someone down here. i wish that i could talk to some people about it but i dont know how they will act about it. alot of the family dont know that i  lost the baby still. Nick wants to tell him mom and sister but i dont know when he is going to tell them. just after we tell everyone that we are pregnant again, we lose the baby. its hard. but i know that if i get pregnant again, i will hide it from everyone for a while. the only one i will tell is my mom bc i live with her and nick, of course. But the rest of the family i would wait till i am past the 12 week mark before we told anyone else.

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

hugs. God\'s grace be with you. and remember you and the baby will see each other again. dont worry hes got a great babysitter till you get there.
deleted_user
deleted_user

i\'m so sorry you lost your precious baby. its normal to feel grief, so allow yourself to feel all those feelings that will come up. let yourself cry. I don\'t know where you are....but in lots of states you can call 211 and get numbers for different docs, therapists...maybe give that a try? XO