Still frustrated, but staying positive...

Today was an okay day.  I decided that if I want my wife to show me more affection, I need to show her with actions how much she means to me.  I am staying positive about improving myself.  I know I have a long road ahead of me, but it is somewhat encouraging to know that I'm finally feeling like something is working and I'm becoming a better husband.
I'm working on change.  It's going through my mind all day/night.  That the change needs to stick and be permanent.  Today is an example of a time when I really need to stay on top of myself and my actions.  Today was a good day, but I can't relax and just think everything is alright and I'm done getting better.  I could fall backwards and be right back where I was this past week.  I'm not going to let myself fall into that this time.  
Yes, today was a succesful day, but that doesn't mean I'm totally healed.  I will go through ups and down with my emotions, but I can't let the ups or the downs drive me to lie.  It's not worth it and it's the easy way out.  That's not going to be me anymore.  That's not who I am.  It's certainly not the type of husband I want to be.  I want to be honest, loving, and a provider for my family.  I can't be any of those things if I'm lying to the ones I love.
Through all of this, I've been reading a lot about courage.  Courage isn't necessarily not having any fears, but having fears and pushing ahead anyway.  It is facing your fears head on.  That's what I am doing right now.  Facing my fear of confrontation.  The fear will always be there, but I need to develop the courage to do the right thing no matter what my fears are in the moment.  
I also liked this quote about courage...
"Courage is the most important of all the virtues because without courage, you can't practice any other virtue consistently" -Maya Angelou