still feel like crap

This is like me I don’t know from one minute to the next what my mood will be. I’m so... frustrated and depressed. I usually get this #@$# under control in about a week but we are heading into week 4 and I am worse than ever. Yesterday, I spray painted my electric candles that were beige a bright red. Then I had all kinds of plans for decorating inside. Well, while I was spraying I just kept on thinking about how much I had to do and got more depressed to the point I ended up crying. So I carted myself upstairs and got into bed fully clothed. I even had on a light fleece jacket because the basement is cold. When hubby came home he found me curled up in a little ball crying. He had been trying to get me on the phone and so had my daughter but I did not answer. He is very concerned. Well, quite frankly, so am I!!! because I’m bi polar 11 I cannot take the little pills that act quickly like atavan (sp??). I have to suffer it out. The only recourse I have is bed and try to knock myself out with sleeping pills. Don’t worry I never od on them, I’m careful. Even though I feel horrid, I don’t have a death wish.Anyway, today I am a bit better or so I tell myself. My honey got up at his usual 5:00 and he had a lot of decorating done when I came down around 8:00. Then we worked at it slowly. I have a lot of stuff!! So it is now almost suppertime and everything is done but the tree and the garland above the cupboards. I will work away at the tree and michael will help me with the garland tomorrow night.I have company coming for a visit tomorrow actually for a luncheon. I already made the stuff so tomorrow will just be a little prep. I pray I am up to it!!I’ll do the final cleanup tomorrow morning, just needs to be swiffered and vacuumed downstairs.Anyway, thanks for all your support and I have been able to answer a few of the journals. I’ll do my best. Til next time, be well. Debbie