Still doing OK...
Found a wonderful grief support meeting. A group of people who have all lost someone to Heroin. One of the Moms I walk with got it started, when we all walked and realized all the groups we've been going to, we just couldn't relate. She lost her 22 year old daughter to Heroin about a month before I lost Greg. Another Mom lost her 18 year old daughter, just 3 months ago. Another couple were there, raising their 3 year old grand daughter, because both her parents died from an overdose a month apart. This was their only sons daughter...
So it has helped me to understand a little more about addiction and it wasn't my fault. I was also blessed to have had Greg for 33 years, can't imagine losing him at the age of 18? Not that I wanted to lose him at all...
But I got lots of hugs and it felt so good to share and not be judged. Just like this group.
So still feeling good. Still taking baby steps, getting ready for our move even though it's only 2 buildings away, at least this one is not sinking.
I know Greg is with me, as I pack I keep finding wonderful little sigs of him all around me. The latest was, i went to the library yesterday to get something to read at night, that's when it's the toughest for me. Found 2 large print romance books, didn't think about them, til I started reading last night and had to laugh, the first book the main character, is named Tucker. That was Greg's Golden Retrievers name, that he had for 17 years. Just made me smile, because while packing I found an old photo of Greg's beloved Tucker stuck in a drawer. Then I looked to see what the other book was called, i just grabbed, glanced at the back and said why not? And low and behold, the title is called Angel of mine.
Hugs to you all...
So it has helped me to understand a little more about addiction and it wasn't my fault. I was also blessed to have had Greg for 33 years, can't imagine losing him at the age of 18? Not that I wanted to lose him at all...
But I got lots of hugs and it felt so good to share and not be judged. Just like this group.
So still feeling good. Still taking baby steps, getting ready for our move even though it's only 2 buildings away, at least this one is not sinking.
I know Greg is with me, as I pack I keep finding wonderful little sigs of him all around me. The latest was, i went to the library yesterday to get something to read at night, that's when it's the toughest for me. Found 2 large print romance books, didn't think about them, til I started reading last night and had to laugh, the first book the main character, is named Tucker. That was Greg's Golden Retrievers name, that he had for 17 years. Just made me smile, because while packing I found an old photo of Greg's beloved Tucker stuck in a drawer. Then I looked to see what the other book was called, i just grabbed, glanced at the back and said why not? And low and behold, the title is called Angel of mine.
Hugs to you all...
Replies
You are so right we are terribly judged because our children didn\'t die of natural causes, people look at it in view it was their own fault, their own doing, never learning from their mistakes and so on.
I am very pleased to have come here to of found you wonderful women and a place to lay my heart, tears, anger on the table. A place I do not need to hide away or my feelings away. Very glad you are still doing ok. Hugs mags x
I\'m glad you found a group of people you can relate too. It helps so much more. I found on this site however the other mothers are so compassionate to us all. We are all in the same boat because we have lost our children...I don\'t think there is another mother who has lost their infant child to anencephaly or her 30 year old to a brain aneurysm. But I can still relate to the sadness and how hard it is to travel the journey of grief...
Finding support that we feel comfortable with is important & a huge step.
In addition to the wonderful group of moms here, sounds like you have found a group of parents that you have a common ground with. Maybe you need both FMO & your support group related to loss by Heroine right now. I know for myself I love FMO & also go to one on one therapy. Both together seems to be meeting my needs right now. Whatever works for us... is the right thing.
Sounds like you are moving forward with your baby steps. Good for you.
Thank you for sharing this journal with us letting us know you are still ok.
Many hugs dear sister of the heart.
I am glad that you found your amazing support group...I just had to shake my head about the 3 year old who lost both parents to heroin overdose. I went through the \"fault\" thing and maybe I will always wonder what I could have done differently, However, I know it is non productive for me to do so. And does not change a damn thing! My son, Michael, died of an accidental heroin overdose at age 33 and I blame the way the world is now more than I blame myself. Heroin is so epidemic! I have to be honest, I have never felt judged about it. The only thing that ever bothered me was when my own mother asked me if I tell other people honestly how my son died. I looked at her like she was from another planet...I told her that Of course I do...I had no idea that people would judge he or myself. Hugs to you.
So happy that you found a heroin support group. It feels like a good fit for you at this time and I believe that each of us finds our way with the support tools that are helpful.
Appreciate too the update with the move and glad it\'s not too far away and into a better situation for you. Still... even if it\'s across the street it\'s a lot of work so take care and watch your back with those boxes. K?! Greg certainly has your back with all the signs of comfort he\'s been sending your way. Just love that about those hellos and winks from our children. :) Very much needed and vital on this path, aren\'t they?
Much loving care your way my friend and ok is our new \"good\" isn\'t it? Well, that is how it feels for me many days and perhaps for you as well...
XXOO
Joanie
please share our group with your new walking friends,,,they need us.... glad you found good walking friends. love ya!
Signs are so important to us! I was chatting on Facebook yesterday to another mom who was telling me about her daughter\'s signs and my partner\'s computer started acting up (typical Josh.) So she went to her phone to chat with me and a little nonsense came out, something like \"thattthatthathatha.\" On Wednesday I went to a wedding and it was humid so my hair was sopping and dripping down my face, by the time I got there. I threw on my purple garden hat that has a pleated neck guard with a bow. The man on the other side of the bench was smiling at me, then I thought I bet I look funny in a hat. Well if you look at the gibberish carefully it is that hat, that hat, ha so I guess my son thought it was funny too.
I am glad you found the group of parents who also lost a son to heroin. I saw your avatar on Facebook yesterday and thought it was very nice.
Much love,
Leda