Still a Stepmother

Today my mom came to my dad's house to pick me up for the weekend. My stepmother has been acting out of control lately, she is jealous about my mother and I think about me too. She has literally taken a stance against me. She thinks that I am a lair, but can't tell me of anything that I lie about. After my mom talked to Chi, the situation began to revolve around me. She thinks that I lie... she thinks that I lied about a scratched on the new hardwood floors. It has been so long and even if I would have scratched the floors I would have told someone by now. I am sick of this, I have tried my best to get along with and have a relationship with Chi. I always have thought that things have turned out fine. But, apparently I am the enemy. My dad has taken a new stance on things. He tells me to cut myself off from Ti (my stepbrother) and act to him as Chi is acting towards me. This is mostly because both myself and my dad have accepted Ti into our lives and she has not accepted me for who I am the son I am to dad. So I have to separate myself from Ti, who has become close to me in the recent months. I think that maybe that is getting to her as well, she sees that I can connect with her son in English better than she can. I am reluctant to go home now, now that I know there is someone there who hates me.
 
Tonight when we were finishing diner at the house dad showed up out of no where and had biked up here from the Cherry Creek arts festival. This is a huge arts festival and far away from my mom's house. After he ate something he took my mom's car back home without my bike. Now somehow we have to get my mom's car back to her and my bike back to my dad's house. This was just a pain in my ass I just think that my dad didn't want to go home and explain anything and get his car, instead he just went over all of that and biked up here, ate and then drove mom's car back down to the city. I hope everything work out tomorrow easily. We are supposed to get movies and then hang around the house all day.
 
I am still feeling suicidal thoughts, I told my mom, but I don't think that people, and her, take me seriously, they simply think that I am doing better. I am becoming more and more depressed because of the situation that unfolding within my family. I don't consider Chi my family, though, maybe Ti, but really not Chi not anymore, I am so upset with her I don't think that I can forgive her. Ever. This is just not something that happens in our family. I would rather kill myself than live wither her for many more years. I am wondering what my dad seeing in her other than loyalty, when she seems very in-loyal to him. He is unhappy and I can see that he is unhappy and I am so over this, suicide can be so easy. I just learned that it is a crime and that doesn't make sense, it is my choice. Why would the government be concerned about it... other than wasting tax dollars. Maybe suicide is not the answer; but shouldn't it be my choice to make? I don't know I am watching some starz show about suicide. It makes me feel kinda better. I better go for the night,
 
Goodnight moon.
 
Z