Still a new beginning

Tomorrow I have to go to work and leave my beautiful baby boy at home.  My heart is aching and I don't want to go, but I must.  I have to build a better life for my family and get out of this rut we are stuck in.  It scares me to think how much I might miss in my son's life, but it scares me even more that I have become so dependent on him.
I know the nanny will take good care of him, but it's hard to just let go.  I have lost so many precious things in my life that I hold on too tightly to the ones I still have left.  I don't want to feel so sad.  (The upside is that not even food is making me feel better - so at least I'm not bingeing too. lol)
"Dear God.  Please protect my loved ones, my precious ones.  Forgive me for my sins and do not hold it against them, for they deserve better than me.  Thankyou for granting me your grace to have them in my life.  Amen"