STEPPED OUT OF MY BOX!

Sunday, 1-11-09:  I actually went to a baby shower today.  It was for a "girl" I baby-sat eighteen years ago.  I just couldn't not go.  I only knew a few people there, so it was really a stretch for me.  I don't like to be away from home very much.  But, it wasn't awful.  In fact, it was kind of fun to ooh and ahh over all the cute things.  (They have some really cool baby stuff now!) Craig even went baby stuff shopping, with me, on Saturday.  I put it off until then because I wasn't sure I would make it to the shower.  Anyway, he was really into it.  It was cute.  The "almost Grandma", and I, are friends.  Her mother just passed away Friday.  And here we are, getting ready to welcome a new life into the world.   It truly is the circle of life.   I am trying to get to bed.  It is nearly 12:30 a.m.  I have to be up in about 5 1/2 hrs.  Ouch!  Nothing new about that, but....  I am having a glass of red wine tonight.  I figure it is not as strong as a rum and Coke, it doesn't have caffeine, makes me sleepy, and actually has some health benefits. However small, I am trying to make some adjustments to my life.  We will see. I only work four days this week and next.  Yea!  A four day weekend to look forward to.  I am going to take my mom to the mall one day.  And, I am going to work on tax stuff on another.   I dread the tax stuff.  We have an accountant, but, it is the gathering of everything that is a pain.  I am pretty good at keeping things in one place.  Usually.  This year everything is in one of three places.  It is just sort, pitch, sort, pitch.  I don't have a lot of concentration or patience for that sort of thing anymore.  And Craig, well, he just wouldn't have a clue. Chris came over for dinner tonight.  We just had chili.  It was good to see him.  I haven't seen him since Christmas, I think.  He is okay, but seemed a little distant, crabby, something.....  We chatted quite a while, though. Adam is having a hard time again.  He goes for counseling tomorrow.  His journey, over losing Melissa, is just as hard as mine, I think.  He, just like me, has all the ups and downs.  She was his best friend as well as his girlfriend.  She is the one that helped him the most after Scott died.  She was his world, really.  He has dated another girl since late summer/early fall.  But, it is a rebound thing, I think.  They are not getting along so well, now.  He just wasn't ready.  On the other hand, if he hadn't been dating her I am not sure he would have done as well as he has.  So there you go.  Again.  Confusion...just like me. My mom gave me food for thought, today.  I didn't like it, either.  We were talking about me going to the shower and she was saying how it would be good for me, I need to live again, etc.  I told her I was living.  She promptly corrected me and told me, "No you are not.  You are existing."  She is right.  Now, I have to think about how to incorporate a little living into my life.  Thanks Mom!  But, maybe today, stepping out of my box, was a start.