Step One AGAIN of Twelve
Coffee in hand again. No hangover. Even if there was one, my penance would be to live through the pain as a reminder of my own weakness.
I am powerless over alcohol, this facet of my life has become unmanageable. I hearby declare bottom.
There are deeper and darker consequences yet to achieve. An OUI, death by driving, killing someone while driving drunk. None of those have occurred but I acknowledge the high risk of probability. I don't have to get there to know that is where I could go if I stay on this path.
This past week has been an escalating binge episode. Today is abstinence. There is a bottle of cheap Pinot Noir downstairs. Two glasses left & there they will remain. A taunting reminder of not swallowing. To swallow is an act of weakness. I will exercise my free will.
A red Cardinal just visited my window sill. Looking in on me, checking up. Nearly close enough to touch. But the clear glass prevents physical contact.
Today is the reading, reflection through writing of Step One. I do not agree with all tenants expressed. Instead, as always, I create my own path Alongside the path of others.
http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/en_step1.pdf
I am powerless over alcohol, this facet of my life has become unmanageable. I hearby declare bottom.
There are deeper and darker consequences yet to achieve. An OUI, death by driving, killing someone while driving drunk. None of those have occurred but I acknowledge the high risk of probability. I don't have to get there to know that is where I could go if I stay on this path.
This past week has been an escalating binge episode. Today is abstinence. There is a bottle of cheap Pinot Noir downstairs. Two glasses left & there they will remain. A taunting reminder of not swallowing. To swallow is an act of weakness. I will exercise my free will.
A red Cardinal just visited my window sill. Looking in on me, checking up. Nearly close enough to touch. But the clear glass prevents physical contact.
Today is the reading, reflection through writing of Step One. I do not agree with all tenants expressed. Instead, as always, I create my own path Alongside the path of others.
http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/en_step1.pdf
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