Steady
I was finding my steady strength in service tonight
- understanding how to keep my focus on the work
while also dealing with the invariable creative mind that
i have that upsets me or tries to knock me off my steadiness -
it will happen (I forewarn myself) - better to hold onto a little gray area within
and walk thru moments like that - exist on a meditative plain
I found strength in it -
and then I realized that getting along with the sisters here isn't really
that hard - it's like we all grasp onto an agreed grace in this life here - of dignity-
an agreed to set of rules - on like a common plain of
consideration here -
like in any relationship there are kind of 'agreed to' rules
and common meanings - and that's very much the life here -
I like helping to run this place - but I also know I don't have
the desire for some of the niceties that the nuns thrive on, demanding it
or offering it - I like the common goal - and thoughts of a look for me at the California
monasteries came to mind.
I came back to my room - so happy to be with Blue - and I know he and I have
a shared, agreed way of relating - I tell him as much as I can how important
he is to me - even though things change in me - (one doctor said we all have to deal with changes in ourselves) I am knowing to keep steady
with my identity - hold tight to my beliefs and ideals. remember who i am.
I also started to allow myself to think that I really wanted to indulge in some personal
time when first petting Blue when I first got back - but I just reoriented myself to acknowledge that, and that was enough to calm me. Not a bad day!:)
Replies
It reads like you were 'looking at the big picture' and it looked pretty good
I'm glad that you had a good day sweetie
I hope that you and Bluey rest easy tonight...xo
Thanks Jan!