starting to scare myself

I really am starting to scare myself because of the cravings and desire to eat that have not left me. Once I almost grabbed a snack before I remembered that I can't have solid food. I'm 9 days post op and already the protein shakes are starting to repulse me. At the same time I'm craving nachos, chicken, steak, pizza, tacos-geez you name it. There have been times that the only thing that kept me from eating something outragious is the fact that it would literally kill me. This is the fear that I had before surgery, that I would do something to screw it up. I am feeling very weepy and vulnerable on this subject today. I'm not sure if I'm mourning the food I can't have or just feeling frustrated. There have been at least 2 instances when I said to myself that I changed my mind, I just want to go eat, and if this had been just a diet I would have broken it. So I'm feeling very confused. I"m thankful that I had the surgery and survived it, and that I can't just 'quit', but at the same time I miss eating real food. When I see that in writing it sounds so childish, but it's what I'm feeling, so I'm writing it. I do desperately want to get to a normal weight and I'm willing to do the work, but sometimes I feel so incapable and defeated. I'm in tears right now and I'm not even sure why. I know this must be temporary, and I probably will get over that feeling, but I keep thinking how pathetic it is that I'm just waiting for the day I can have soft foods. I'm thinking about what kinds of foods I will be able to eat. I was even telling myself I could put lasagne in a blender. That kind of thinking is what makes surgery fail for some. I really don't want this to fail. It's my last chance. I don't want to fail. I just maybe need to let myself cry over it a bit today then start changing my focus to the things I want to do as a slimmer me. It just occurred to me that I can no longer comfort myself with food and hide my emotions with food, so that is probably why I am feeling so weepy. I'll get through this, but PLEEEZ if anyone has gone through this let me know. I don't want to be crazy all by myself, and I"d like to know if there's a light at the end of the tunnel.