starting the day

I went to bed last night, thinking about the nature of something, well 

the nature of my own being - and what I need personally to get on in life

rather than an automatic catch all 'one size fits all' kind of demand on myself.

It helped definitely in the realm of me falling asleep  - I was gentle with myself

and found myself doing a couple of things that I've done in the past that indeed helped

me to fall asleep last night. I definitely was thinking about my nature yesterday and how

I'm different from others in a certain light but also I was embracing myself to continue to be

who I am and still get along with others as we each of us has our nature and recognizing that

helped me feel comfortable with all of the differences - (acceptance and appreciation too.)

So I woke up this morning, and felt that tug within me that happens when (I don't really know when so much)

maybe when I don't feel recognizable in life straight away when I wake - that starts to turn that lacking

into a sense of dissapointment - grows into a sense of feeling crestfallen...and that others dislike me..

I am definitely knowing now that knee jerk reaction is false...and I just need to pull myself out of that funk

now that I've learned to see it....

So I woke this morning and I pulled myself up and out of that funk felt the newness of the day beckon but

also the sense that I have to give myself a sense of structure to the day - the newness is exciting - but getting

on with taking care of life is important - so it's a cognitive deliberate thing to EVALUATE each morning and regain

that sense of existence in the world rather than just feel like I am floating in a new soup each morning. Though I am in a sense but also getting back to what I planned to do.

So that's what I am thinking about this morning. Blue is getting up to rascally activities - I am home from getting coffee

and pretty soon I am going to see if I can get myself a ticket to see the LACMA sometime tomorrow.

Peace and have a good day you guys! Thanks for reading this kind of cryptic journal today!!