starting the day
I woke up and around 430am this morning.
Early yes, but the usual for me on weekend days since I get up far earlier for work
during the week. Things are good thankfully. I am grateful.
I woke up - made a bowl of cereal - ate it in bed - then went back to the kitchen to make coffee,
brought it back to bed,
and watched some Joel Osteen and then watched the CBS Sunday morning.
Blue cuddled on my lap on and off while since I was up and down to get the cereal and coffee. :)
I'm thankful it's Sunday morning! I won't let negative feelings blind me
to the beautiful weekend days that I am experiencing! I hope if you're feeling
down, you'll be inspired to find 'your happy' once again.. hopefully the rising sun
will bring it on! :)
It happens a lot to me that my mood
or my energy will make me dive deep into some emotional or mental abyss and I'll forget to
appreciate the actual beautiful day or beautiful morning that I am living and experiencing.
I wondered what it would take for me to have my spirits lift and feel positive,
to feel worthy or worthwhile as a friend or a loved one. My mind is kind of a scrambled
mess right now - but I thought if just to 'be of use' to someone - to give something they
need in life, the thought helped me dismiss the 'down' feelings and also inspired me to appreciate
the actual morning in front of me. I'm still struggling to find my bouyancy but .....
It's Sunday morning! Time for a big traditional
breakfast! Time for the Sunday papers! Time for the political news shows
and a Sunday drive!
I'll go pay attention to Blue. He deserves some good loving and I truly
believe that we each do.
I may be half a person...but maybe it's times like this morning that will
help inspire me to reflect and manifest what it's like to live with
and take sustenance from my imagined 'other half.' :)
keep on keeping on! :)
Replies
Mark, here on your “vision board” you have a lot of people rooting you on. Me included, near and far.
I believe it takes some twisting and turning and contorting at times to get the momentum going from “vision board realm” into actionable steps.
You are not alone in battling mental issues or grappling with steady footing hikes through the jungles of life. If we are all actors and the world is merely one big live stage, then maybe shift the focus in another direction. Don’t get “caught up” in an image of happiness. Do a pivot and extract the things that make you happy and then take a few steps in another direction to supplement the missing pieces.
Does that sound bossy? Haha.
I’m all for self expression and writing things out and thinking aloud and philosophizing with others. Now it’s time to face a new direction maybe. Just thoughts.
Big hug and a massive noogie.
Thanks Nikki.
Egads…earlier than 4:30? :) You are 1 1/2 people, Mark, but sometimes automatic negative thoughts prevent us from seeing the good in ourselves. The more you can practice changing those ANTs into automatic positive thoughts, the more likely it will become part of your thinking. The first step is for you to recognize the ANT and then challenge it. Need to exterminate those ANTs! So glad you are able to appreciate the positives, too. Have a great Sunday drive!
Thanks gr8ful1!!!
A few things crossed my mind when reading this journal entry.
First, do you realize how much of a difference you make in others' lives? I can only speak to what I actually witness, but your positivity, encouragement, and insight on DS are invaluable. Prior to us even becoming friends, I remember your posts on the boards, because they were just so NICE. Kindness is something the world needs more of, and you are making a difference in your little corner of it.
Second, as great as your contributions are, you don't actually have to *do* anything to be worthy of love and friendship. It's not something that has to be earned...and quite frankly, I know from personal experience that it can't be.
I agree with Nikki regarding actionable steps. One thing I've wondered, but not been brave enough to suggest, is that you find a creative outlet for all of the feelings you have, apart from journaling here. Something that gives you a sense of purpose when you get home from work and are feeling down. For me, that's composing music and writing. You've mentioned art in passing, and I've often wanted to know more. Would this be another way to express yourself and reach other people? At a minimum, I believe it would lead to you being more at peace. Perhaps you have another interest that you could pursue instead?
Gr8ful1 is correct that we have to watch out for ANTs. This article gives some practical advice on how to stomp out the ANTs and prevent them from spoiling an otherwise beautiful day:
https://www.inc.com/chris-winfield/is-stomping-ants-the-key-to-living-a-happier-life.html
Anyway, just my two cents. : ) Have a great Sunday! Hello to Blue.
thanks Ladybug!! Big hugs back!
Ladybug and Sensitive, such wisdom and good advice! How much would you charge to be my therapists? :)