Standing Up For Myself
Day 12 of 365 - Man Break
I"ve been doing a lot of reading and one area I need a lot of work on is standing up for myself. I just can't. I'd rather endure countless hardships then tell anyone that anything they are doing is bothering me and then have to deal with their disappointment in anger.
Which is why today I was so proud of myself because I stood up to my co-worker. This woman is a constant talker. Her desk is very close to mine and she spend hours and hours each day talking to her three kids and bazillion family members. It drives me bonker. Not only is it generally annoying but I can't get my work done because I am so distracted by her.
So even though I was nervous and actually shaking I said to her "Would you mind keeping your personal calls to a minimum or take them to another room? It is very distracting to me and I can't get my work done."
Well the girl lost her mind. She ranted and raved and said "Do you not want me to talk to clients. Is that distracting for you? You spend just as much time on personal calls as me (completely untrue by the way). " and on and on. Defending herself, blaming me, justifying that she didn't have any work to do right now and that was why she was spending so much time on the phone.
So even though I was proud of myself, I felt a little depressed afterwards because a) she is never going to change - she is justifying everythign she does as okay b) no one really backs me up at work c) she's super pissed at me (which is actually more of a blessing because she won't talk to me - Phew).
So this is what prevents me from standing up in the first place. I'm afraid the person will get mad at me, nothing will change and I should just suck it up.
I"ve been doing a lot of reading and one area I need a lot of work on is standing up for myself. I just can't. I'd rather endure countless hardships then tell anyone that anything they are doing is bothering me and then have to deal with their disappointment in anger.
Which is why today I was so proud of myself because I stood up to my co-worker. This woman is a constant talker. Her desk is very close to mine and she spend hours and hours each day talking to her three kids and bazillion family members. It drives me bonker. Not only is it generally annoying but I can't get my work done because I am so distracted by her.
So even though I was nervous and actually shaking I said to her "Would you mind keeping your personal calls to a minimum or take them to another room? It is very distracting to me and I can't get my work done."
Well the girl lost her mind. She ranted and raved and said "Do you not want me to talk to clients. Is that distracting for you? You spend just as much time on personal calls as me (completely untrue by the way). " and on and on. Defending herself, blaming me, justifying that she didn't have any work to do right now and that was why she was spending so much time on the phone.
So even though I was proud of myself, I felt a little depressed afterwards because a) she is never going to change - she is justifying everythign she does as okay b) no one really backs me up at work c) she's super pissed at me (which is actually more of a blessing because she won't talk to me - Phew).
So this is what prevents me from standing up in the first place. I'm afraid the person will get mad at me, nothing will change and I should just suck it up.
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