"Spring the Happy time of the year"

Some days I would kill to have seasonal depression rather than all year long. Its sunny out, I have a good family and set of friends, a fun sport (roller derby) that I enjoy most days but yet the depression still pulls at me. I hate feeling suicidal esp after going so long without any issues. I just want to curl up in a dark hole and hide away from the world. I hope it doesn't mean it is time for ect time again.