Spring ....
Its spring my baby boy and I can finally get to you...I thank you for the gift you gave me this winter...so much snow and I couldnt get to you to change the batteries in the solar lights and that bothered me to leave you in the dark, months went by and the snow slowly melted and while I was on the deck looking towards you I could see the glow of the lights just beneath the snow and for a second it caught my breath and I told you mommys here and I didnt forget you...I miss you with all my heart my Giz, I bought you a stone to go in your garden with a solar butterfly on it..I asked you for a butterfly in your garden so I'd know you were okay, butterflies were all around me but none in your garden so I'm giving one to you, I'm better but I have such an emptiness without you in my life and as hard as I try that feeling remains with me, I laugh but to me it feels hollow I just wish I could breath easy, but theres a weight on my shoulders and I'm sorry,and I cant change whats happened , I go thru the motions , am as okay as I can possibly be , but happiness as I once knew will never be again without you, til I see you again , I will plant you flowers and change batteries and now come and sit on the bench and have coffee with you and see your happy sweet little face , I'll write you poetry and place it in your flowers and that will bring me some comfort just as being around you always would when things would go wrong, you were always there with a kiss on the nose for mom when I'd cry....you must owe me a million kisses my baby boy by now ....one day I hope to collect them all !!!
Replies
Hi Bonni! How are you and Keegan and Baily? I cried when I read your journal. I sure feel the same way. I can\'t believe how fast time is flying by! Soon our angels will be away from us a year-it\'s hard to believe. I just know the emptiness and grief will remaine the way it is now, for me. Heaven knows I have tried to get things better-just think we go through the motions-what is expected of us. Please take care of you and know that Giz is with you. I do believe that they will see us again one day. I am always here if you need to talk. I pray for peace for you.I thank God for the special love that we had-even if just for a short time.(Any amount would never have been enough time) Sending you strength,support and all good wishes, always!! So MANY * HUGS******* Love,Laurie
hi bonni,i am glad you can have the pleasure to visit and sit and talk with gizzi,it is hard without our little darlings,keep strong for yours,love and hugs,helen.
I stopped by to read about your Gizzie, so much love and tears from not getting to be with him. You should be proud that you took such great care of him, and your undying love for him. I shed tears over your loss, as you miss him so much. Makes me think of the poem I wrote called One Last Time. Bonni, you are special to love the way you do, and I wish that you happiness. Hugs to you. I will tell you of a way to make a memorial plate for you baby, they are beautiful. You could sit it by your bed stand. Hugs and Luv ya