Song of my life

i had some really insightful ideas this morning while serving.


I was thinking about D and the intense conversation

I had with him last night. Just had a sense of his intense

power boundary - and so I had the sense of my own

intense boundary too -

 

I started to think about what I learned yesterday in terms

of evaluating if certain choices were a good use of my time?...and could I choose better?

I started to drill down in anxiety unconsciously- this morning- but then I became

aware of it and I wondered and then decided it wasn't

a good use of my time - that I could devote that energy to something

else. It was a positive, empowering, liberating move.

 

Then I also had some more fears - about resistance and derailing I  would face if unguarded- and in a macro sense-  I also then thought

about how I am keeping myself on a path that is good for me in life

and my future. It was another empowering and galvanizing thought. 
it gave me a kind of fundamental plan.

 

I completed service and then went to the coffee room before lunch.

C sent a spikey response to one of my sincere texts- but then

I reconciled it to myself to take it with a sense of humor with a wisdom from the bible I read that day.

That when you come back to your family and friends - you are no one

exalted - but just another friend and family member.

 

I got on my way with the day's chores and it all wore

on me still - just needed to keep healthy and strong 

 

- then I started to yearn to talk to my therapist after morning meal.

to help me get back on track. I wondered if she also

Is affected by the people she comes into contact with at work

and does she have a need from a friend or a therapist to get

back on track. Her feelings are important to consider and matter too and I can't

think that I am alone in being derailed at times

and needing to talk to someone to remember

the song of my life

 

I'm in pain but I need to keep on keeping on. Keeping mindful of that kind of commonality is helping me 'see others.'

Replies

Community LeaderSunCloudJD
SunCloudJD

Big hug sweetie

Anxiety is the pits...Deep breaths

I'm sure that your therapist has someone to reach out to when need be

Another hug and a blessing...xo
malibumark
malibumark

Thanks Jan!