Somewhat apprehensive ...

So, the one week goal is up.  I didn't quite make it.  But the last time I cut was technically 7 days ago, so really ... I did make it.  Ha, I suppose it's all in the way you  view it, no?   Anyway, our friends have come & gone.  It was nice to see them.  There was some initial weirdness when they showed up Friday night.  I think that was because it was so long since we'd seen each other.  Then, after a little, it was like the years had melted away & it was just like old times.  I think it was really good for Tony to be thrust into a social situation again.  Hell, I'm the one w/ the social phobia, yet it seems he's lately the one who's had the harder time w/ social situations. And that really wears on me: the fact that I have to be the stronger one, that I have to motivate him to do seemingly normal things, etc.  It's hard to always have to be the strong one, the responsible one, the adult so to speak.  It's probably one of the primary reasons why I started cutting again ... because between all the tension @ home & the highly stressful job I have, I couldn't find an outlet.  I smoked for so long, but then quit a couple months back.  I didn't have another way to release the anger.  And honestly, I still don't know what to do to release the anger. Tony & I had a great weekend so far.  We got to go for 2 walks, both Friday & Saturday evenings.  It was nice to exercise again.  Boy am I out of shape, but that will change.  We even had sex Friday night for the 1st time in about 2 months.  And it was good.  It wasn't the best ever, but it was really really good.  And then yesterday, we went to see a movie for the 1st time in a year.  It was great to go see a film & lose yourself in a story for a couple hours.  It's so nice to return to some sense of normalcy.  These are some things that I suppose you take for granted until they're gone.  Then you realize how much you miss them.   So, anyway, it's great to feel things slowly returning to normal.  I do wish it would all go faster, but I suppose that's the impatient perfectionist inside who always needs to be the control-freak.  And that's the Angela that I'm trying to keep in check.  Today's a little rough though.  I think seeing Dark Knight yesterday was a bit triggering.  And I've heard that: the film is a bit of a trigger for some SI people.  I completely understand why.   Ok, well, I need to go to work today.  Blah.  I hate weekend work, but it goes w/ the job.