Sometimes you wonder...............

Is it all really worth it?
 
What does it say about life when the most important moments are with your horse?
 
I have a doctor appointment next month and I haven't really told my family why. I am sick of being the "hypochondriac." Weird stools...Rheumy says normal but now I think I have blood in them. I am hoping it's just an ulcer due to the MTX pills in my Gastric bypass stomach. I'm on injections now so hopefully it goes away. I had a colonoscopy at 40 and they found a hemorrhoid which was taken care of and a polyp also taken care of. Then I think of Ulcerative Colitis. 
 
Life is not easy right now but who do I have to turn to? Unless you have RA, Cancer, or whatever.....you just don't get it. 
 
All I know is I don't want to die. I am numb...don't feel any emotion at the moment.