sometimes you just gotta suck it up

I've had a good day today. It started out with a kind of nebulous and forboding sense

but that's not uncommon for me. The thing is, first thing in the morning

I am so fresh from my night's sleep that I can't put that kind of thought into

perspective straight away - eh no big deal - I am not going to kill myself over it -

it just 'is what it is'..so I write it out - I wrote a journal and then got on with my day...

I went for a hike - which refreshed my spirit yet again!!! (thankful!) and then

came home.

I had things all worked out inside - I felt like I was on top of my day - and yet then

it's like I had to account for the differences.. Why was I this way... and then that way??!!

Why didn't I seem to have a kind of sense of self that rang true?? I think though what

I am realizing now (and that I have seen in others recently) is that we're all a mix of paradoxical

things at times. I just think somehow I need to make a peace with that.

So things are a mix for me and perhaps all of us.

I think sometimes in the face of our unexplainable sides to ourselves that in my case

right now have been making me feel so apprehensive and lazy - I think I just

need to suck it up and get on with the day...

I won't go on.

Sending peace and good vibes.