sometimes when u get back home it's 'back to basics'

I was alone for most of the day - trying to keep busy and learn along the way...

Got in touch with some of the truths about myself to hold onto as a way to 

find strength with going on with my day..

(it's crazy stuff but it impacted what happened next.)

Then in the late afternoon, I went to my parents house for dinner..The day

had changed my perspective so, and I felt uneasy, awkward and even a touch flippant

with my folks, I wish hadn't but perhaps that's all well in the sense that it may have seemed like just an off night

for them with me. At least I hope that's the case. I know it's the case.

But I came home from the dinner and was super revved up.. I got ready for bed

and layed down after taking my meds and again my mind searched out for answers..

And I guess that's the illness really. I know we're all looking to make sense of our day and lives.

Even if we don't suffer from mental health challenges...but I find myself kind of butting up against

these issues as a way to define myself, as a way to relate,when no one else is there. I turned to gratitude - grateful for the beautiful

bed I have - grateful my home and Blue - grateful for my family and the dinner we just shared.

I just realized that even though the day may boost my confidence or boost my enthusiasm and energy 

really - When I get back home - a lot of the times - it's back to basics - the routine of washing up -

setting out meds - planning on waking early and getting a coffee in the morning...and trying to 

hold on to gratitude, prayer and management skills to deal with my overwhelming energies and the darkness

that can fall on my head.

Back to basics - it's humbling - but feels kind of sustainable and consoling,but if at first I kind of regreted it.