sometimes I do not know where to start

My wife recently died. She had been ill for awhile but I never expected her to leave now. I remember the things we had planned. Little things nothing really special. I miss the every day conversation that had little meaning except to the two of us. I miss sharing the events of my day. I can tell my friends but it is not the same. I watch people buying holiday gifts. I can not tell them how lucky they are. Take it slow. That is what I am told. Give yourself a chance. I have heard that many times. Easier said than done.