sometimes a little can turn into a lot

I am catching myself letting one negative feeling turning into a global outlook.

I went to work this morning - feeling not all there in the head but I kept on working

and all got better and done well. I was fixated on the commonality idea and indeed it helped

me sort it all out. I then came home, ate lunch and dressed and went to the office where I am 

the only worker there unless the boss shows up. Which he did today. Prior to him coming

I was kind of psyched because I had found some good research 'categories' to follow through with

today - and any day where I don't have to start from scratch can be much easier to negotiate.

I kind of got a little vague while working there - on my own - and then I kind of questioned 'what am I getting

out of this task?' I know it may seem strange - but just I need to align myself sometimes with ideas

or realities that are helping go forward and DO. My boss came in and he started watching the news on the couch.

I felt like my body started to drag my attentions to the impeachment trial as well. But I decided I was going to stick

with what I had imagined and concluded that my experience was about there - and that was like I was putting together

a big jigsaw puzzle for us...and that helped a lot. I finished work there - then stopped at the Trader Joe's and bought some

cookies- but then when I came home - I had no plan - (I mean do have yoga at 2p) but in the immediate sense

....nada. And I guess I can use the skills learned to refrain from the confused 'oh woe is me' outlook that I started to get

not really seeing beyond my own pain that there are other people out there who might have the same conundrum that I do -- PLUS an exercise in memory can take me to the time I am at the office where I have to design my own work as well. Right now I just have to design my own 'fun' and we al have to do that... No idea why I struggle with this- loneliness and no plan? -but I feel grateful that at least I am catching myself today and getting on with it! Jumpin Jehosephat!!! :) 

trying not to let those momentary feelings of awkwardness with the boss turn into something a lot bigger and ultimately a global outlook. Peace.