Sometimes
Sometimes I don't think I feel a thing, then at other times I am extremely sensitive. Sometimes I just hurt. And sometimes things are ok. Sometimes I want to hide, and be alone, sometimes I want to be with people. Sometimes I am happy for other people and their good news. Sometimes I see a couple out for a walk and I get angry. Sometimes I feel like I could conquer the world, and sometimes I feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders. Sometimes I laugh, sometimes I cry. Sometimes I have great hope, sometimes none. Sometimes it's easy to count my blessings, sometimes I complain and whine. Sometimes I feel like a grown up, sometimes I wish I weren't. Sometimes the past year and a half seems so unreal, sometimes it seems too real.
All of the time I am grateful for God's love and faithfulness. All of the time, I could use more hugs. All of the time, I wish I still had my husband here to hug me and hold me and tell me it's going to be alright.
All of the time I am grateful for God's love and faithfulness. All of the time, I could use more hugs. All of the time, I wish I still had my husband here to hug me and hold me and tell me it's going to be alright.
Replies
I wish I lived close to you I would give you one of the biggest hugs. I am so sorry you are having such a hard time. I\'am sure that it will take a long time to get used to being alone. I have never had to be alone more than a few times in our entire married life. I miss Steve so bad tonight even though I know it is good for him to get his mind off his troubles. Steve is a good man and he does not have a problem with playing slot machines. I on the other hand don\'t particularly like giving my money to the casinos. I had much rather have a new pair of shoes!! LOL Steve is faithful to the church with tithes and gives to a lot of causes but he has no problem going. Takes all kinds to make up this world.
Sending my love,
Wanda
Karen, The thought of being without Ron is so horrific, it gives me physical pain. On the one hand, I feel as if a train is thundering down the tracks and there is no escape...on the other hand, I know that we have no control whether we have a disease or if we are victims of an accident. We have no guarantees. We just have to appreciate what we have and trust that God and his many angels can comfort us through whatever comes our way. Blessings to you as you travel this road. I wish there were something I could say that would help you.
And on a lighter note, I enjoy the casinos right up to the point that I lose my $20.00 and then I am absolutely furious with myself that I didn\'t buy something useful or donate to a worthy cause. ha Vernell
Dear Karen,
I understand what you are feeling. Your emotions are raw from all the pain you are bearing. After 7 months, my roller coaster ride has slowed down enough for me to feel a sense of calm again. I, of course, miss my husband terribly, but, I have grown to accept my new life. That day will come for you too but it will take time. You have been so strong throughout. I have no doubt that you will be able to find peace again in your life. Just take one day at a time. I will keep you in my prayers. Love, Linda
Dear Karen...Me too...exactly
welcome to widowhood. Your feelings are exactly normal and where they should be this soon after losing your dear husband. You never get over missing them however it does get so much better. Hang in there and hugs to you. diane
My Dearest Karen,
We all hurt with you, sweet friend. I think it\'s wonderful that you can express all these emotions with us. Even though I\'m not where you are today, I see it coming and totally relate to all your happy and sad feelings. This is such definitely not where we thought we\'d be at this time in life. Thankfully, you have a strong faith....and God is always with you. That comforts me in my darkest hours, and know it does you. Take care of yourself, and know that I\'m sending you lots of cyber HUGS!
Love,
Ingrid
Dear Karen
I wish I could send you a real hug. I think the way you express your feelings here is wonderful. So honest. I pray that, with time, getting up in the morning will seem easier, and a measure of comfort will come your way.
with love, Meriel