some thoughts as I was managing. :)
After I spoke to my therapist today I became kind of sad.
My dismay is probably accentuated because I just ate and drank a lot of sugar.
The positive, that I am trying to hold onto, is that I did do some research into the stuff I am having hauled
away at the end of the month and have set an appointment for it
to happen. So that’s one more task that’s settled.
For some reason I am feeling really nervous about going outside.
I feel lost and alone but maybe it's the sugar. My mind goes back
to when I worked for the Disney corporatino and my life seemed spelled out for me
in terms of time occupied and focusing on entertainments like movies and shopping for design, after work.
I have Blue and my future is unknown and
I do have the job at the new market as well
I do have the job at the new market as well
as the opportunity to save some in my near future.
I pushed myself out the door and I am at ‘Gardens of the World’ now and the drive over here helped me think about things. I’m glad I got out the door. I kicked my butt.
I think with this flashback to Disney and now having the task that we all have at some point for defining our own lives can seem a little daunting.
I’m trying to generalize my sense of things to set a reasonable expectation. I think just being unsure and nervous is ok considering all about this situation and transition. I am excited but again I think I have to take a kind of measure to not over define things and keep a sense of humanity and commonality. My experience of life is greater now than it’s ever been and I have a better sense of my condition, and experience with self responsibility and survival.
...and finallly....I’m home now and maybe this time of my life, I’ll be humane with myself, give myself the good stuff, rather than hold onto pressures to be something extreme. I’m very excited about the move.
Replies
Hola Marcos,
Ooooo look at the fishies :)
Here listening amigo
Be gentle with you, one moment at a time
You have a big move coming up, I would probs feel like the same excited, thinking about different times, different life stuff ect.
I’ve moved so many times but it usually brings up all different thoughts & feelings
I’m proud of you for being strong, but if & when you have times that you maybe are not feeling so strong I got your back that’s what friends are for rite :)
Sending you Big hugs from me & Baby to you & Blue <3
thanks lil missy!! Blue sends Baby a paw high five! Cat beans rule!
hugs
Cool I’ll tell Baby :)
lol it took me at least a year of having a cat to figure out what cat beans were.. lol I looked it up one day online like “what the heck are people talking about cat beans?” & I was like ohh the bottom of their little toes hehe … they are cute aren’t they <3
yes very cute!! :) I love how soft they are too!
Three cheers for cat beans.
Markus I am really excited for you that you are switching things up. Sometimes we need that fresh perspective and fresh start. It’s all proactive and being healthy.
The past is easy to get lost in, at least for me, and lots of it makes me sad about many lost dreams. I think it’s healthy to reflect every now and then and be content with all we have endured and conquered and survived, all full of the good and bad. It’s easy to get lost easily in the past though. What I was talking about in my journal about working through some integration in my own life, where I am reconciling the past by working it into the Now when it makes sense….well, that’s the good stuff about processing new updates in life. Taking action…with newfound wisdoms and a reconnection with ourselves and intuition.
Beautiful photo!
Amazing Photo Mark!!! I wish there was a garden like that around me!! But then I do have the water, 2 state parks, both have water, and 3 beaches within 5 minutes of me..
To your life and confusion...Yes Sugar Is Not Good.....but, I """Just Ate TWo Marshmellows and it's 230am"" I know that is not healthy for me, but I still want Two More! I just got them!
It's strange how you, Nicki and I are all processing the past and making changes in our lives for the future at the same time!! Kind of cool too....more about that in my journal.
Just know despite confusion sometimes, you have a good head on your shoulders, a loving family and a plan / goal to work towards to make a better life for you and blue xox
Thanks Nikki and Mary Louise!