some musing and a good day.
I went to bed last night thinking about how I would really like to go back to the monastery and be in community living
a life there...
I also recognized that I need to keep near my family - because of my condition...
I decided though if I really wanted to experience some of that community and giving experience
I could just do some volunteering again and get some of that in my life here.... And so
that left me feeling happy - like I could direct my life a bit - and also that I could give...
And so I went to work this morning - and as I went along I just thought
it seems that we all live in life 'in a soup' of positive experiences
and downtrodden dreams - and we live in a community of that -
to live in a community of everyone where
all those things exist - is part of life and a positive thing.
A greater sense of humanity and belonging.
I am home now and I'll get a move on something I need to do.
These are just thoughts for my journal...I have a doc appointment later today...
I hope you guys are having a good day out there!! Peace!!
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As I worked at the market today, my mind really messed with me - and I wondered as I worked about (and this is just how isolated I can feel)
like I wondered if anyone else out there had such an unstable sense of things....And there it was at work - the muzac in the store was going - and someone was singing about their breakdown and instability.
Anyways - just thoughts- I have to go to the pet store to buy a new catbcarrier!! Hasta la vista!!
A self-soothing technique I picked up in psychotherapy is, "Safe Places." This theory puts daydreaming to channeled use by allowing myself to imagine a perfect world. My most developed "Safe Place" is my mud caves. Underground caverns which are lit by phosphorescent roots with natural mud baths, saunas. and about 40 years of other creative imaginings. I try to bring as much mud cave spirit as I can when I return to that confusing place between naps (reality).
I wonder if your monastic life could be a "Safe Place" for you. Old World therapist approved.
I'm having a Corona Day. And you?
I don't know if I need a perfect place ... I think the idea that life is the way it is for everyone - kind of brings me to a place
of appreciation for our humanity. But look, this too is coming from a confirmed bachelor who lives alone with his cat and spends his time doing what I do here lol... in seriousness though - I think I might have wondered about a perfect place before...if only, if only I had the money.. I think though - just embracing the positive memories and the crap that harasses the mind is just
all part of the life of the the common human experience - if some, like me, like us, have more intense struggles with stuff..
it just makes me aware of our reality and able to get on with it. I can find some joy that I find in monastic life by volunteering for the Mountain Restoration Trust near me - gimme some of that good time volunteering! :)
It is another day of Corona life - I am so 'over' whiping down with alcohol and masks - etc... it definitely drags.
Got to clean the litter box! joy! :) hah