Some good resolution
I called my family last night over an issue that had me worked up and considering leaving the monastic community.
This morning I woke up and thought about it and sent the following to my parents:
Hey Dad and C! Thanks again for being there last night. It’s a better morning for sure and hindsight has me more mellow. I do think it is time for consideration of a new chapter and that I will do. The strictness of structure here has really helped ground me and the prospect of living out there in the world has me seeing so many ways of living and ways of interpreting life that i need to pool my inner resources to stay grounded. Maybe that would be a good exercise as well as challenge that hopefully I am ready for now. Anyway it’s a beautiful day! I hope you get to enjoy it. Love you mucho, Mark
Replies
I realize they are trying here too, each just has their own way of doing things that gets lost in the translation maybe.
Again, I am realizing more directly that in living in this structure there are not so many permissions to be an individual as well. It structures the environment and life but also suppresses. People, as my therapist have said about here, express their individuality in different ways.
Big hug sweetie
I know Ive said before I think many that seek that life will have felt or believed in a 'calling' for it
I think it would be a great deal harder if you dont have it
You told me once you'd give it perhaps up to Febuary to make a decision
I know certain things are covered now finacially for you but a great deal is required of you for that
You're right about not being seen as an individual...I think you're now seen as a member/part of the monestary
Whatever you decide sweetie I hope for some peace and contentment for you
Big hug and a blessing sent...xo
Thanks Jan!
I couldn't have said it better then Jan. No matter what you decide to do, we will love you just the same...Hugs
Thanks Bob (()))) xo
Ditto with Jan and Bob.
It's such a hard decision to make to leave the safety and structure of the monastery to living in the world, with all that encompasses. Both have benefits and deficits that only you can decide as you have lived both ways.
Choice is hard, find your balance, find your peace of mind. <3
Thanks Mary Louise!!