soft quiet morn......

the rain is so gentle.......quiet. soft.  embracing me in comfort.  spring brings a lushness to the south that is a marvel of the Lord's creation.  sit still and take it all in.....i tried.  i went out there, sat under the porch in one of the bright yellow chairs......but couldn't make myself be still.

back in i went......already missing the sound of the rain and the freshness of the air.

on a mission.......to do chores.  went to brush my teeth and for reasons beyond memory something went awry and i spit blue gel paste EVERYWHERE>that mirror was a mess.  wow.  whoa, goofball.

i found a dress online.....it arrived one day some days ago......it had the smell of it's former owner on it.  i didn't like it.  if i sold items online i would hit them with a spritz of something pleasant and a round or two in the dryer.......but maybe she did?  and it's just not a smell to my liking.......that could be.  i washed it, now it smells like it belongs to me.......silly --- and true.

sorry.......overthinking is both a hobby & a habit.  the dress is casual enough for a picnic dressy enough for church..... floorlength - black......has an empire waist.....with a brightly colored design imprinted on the cloth.  colbalt blue, goldenrod, turquoise, apple green and a bright tomato red......the design reminds me of those i find in many of the adult coloring books.  the design cascades all the way to the floor......i paired it with a green cardi and black peep toe shoes.....ran a brush through untended waves, washed my face....cleaned up blue gel off the mirror and called the day ready for home action.  i took a shower before bed last night, so i'm not a total grub........

huh, i just realized the dress is lined in cobalt blue fabric.......only the top part......interesting, not necessary but a nice detail. (e-bay is an interesting store, i looked at the dress, left it alone and went on with my life.  looked at it again the next day.....then finally on day three the price was dropped & now included shipping.......can they see into my brain too???????????)  yes i'm kidding but it's unnverving sometimes how much the computer knows about our habits.....doncha ever think? 

absorbed in my little tiny world of one plus two kittums. speaking of those that purr i don't know where they are..........annie is probably sleeping on the end of my bed....but rio?  who knows, maybe upstairs getting into trouble. 

the frig hums, the keys make tapping sounds.......and i muse about life.  will i make it to the store today?  maybe......thought about calling sam mid day to see if he wants to hang, but then i think no you just saw him last sunday, give him his adult space.......if i left right now i could go to church.  ok in ten minutes, but i don't feel polished enough...........this is the time of day where i fight the sleepies really hard. 

fight it until i give in and spend the majority of now forward asleep.  when i wake i find that my extremties are chilly.....when i get up my hands and feet and sometimes my legs get very cold very quickly......seems odd to have to fight the cold this way in may........it's the reynaud's.  it's not present to this extent all the time but since i've been slowing down more and more in daily activities the reynauds ramps up higher and higher......and i think for the thousandth time ......go see doc elliot, it's been 7 years now.  she's my rheumy.........my own docs have suggested it a few times.  it's just that well......i don't really expect anything to have changed really save that things have worsened......in particular in regards to joints, nerve damage, muscle pain and such. 

one of the last times i went i remember her remarking how much the fibro had spread........and i wondered had it really or did she just now notice it?  not sure how this works really......cause fibro pain as i know it can be a targeted area and then it can be all over widespread misery so not sure that it does spread........it makes me think of a fibro hot spot spilling out into the body like ink and taking over like southern born kudzu.  trampling everything in it's path.

sam was telling me about the land behind his best friend's house when chris and sam were growing up.......about how the kudzu had overtaken an entire cabin.........folks had gone in and taken bits and pieces of the cabin over time.....but the kudzu left a perfect hollowed out space of the cabin's outline in it's vines.........wicked cool no?  cool and strange.....

the dishes are done, the trash is bagged up, a nightie stained with tomato sauce is sitting in stain remover.......the frig still hums and the gentle rain still falls..........i like this quiet.  the tiny drops of rain hold me in a comforting embrace......they are my visitors here at sparrow cottage.....welcome visitors. 

praying for you my dear.......sparrow