Society
Day 24 - 25 of 365 - Man Break
Last night a group of us went out for drinks for the birthday of a friend. Most of the girls there were either married or in serious long-term relationships. There were three of us singles, including the birthday girl who was turning 31. The conversation spun to relationships and marriage. One of the girls had been dating a guy for three years and was desperate for him to ask her to marry him. Another was moving in with a guy she had known just months. Another started talking about her wedding. Then there was talk of a girl, seemingly fatally single, who had finally met someone. Everyone seemed to sigh with relief. My eyes glazed over. It never fails. I would just like to go out and enjoy each other’s company. Have a few laughs. Talk about books, movies, plays, politics ... anything besides a reminder of how single girls are not quite right and not very important until they have a partner or a wedding or a baby.
I am going back to the theme of societal pressure to be part of a couple because this is an issue that keeps coming up for me and one that bothers me to no end. Why do I feel such pressure when I don’t even believe you have to have a partner to be happy? I can’t figure out why because I am actually quite content on my own. I am independent and do not sit around the house moping. I can’t quite put my finger on it but it’s like I’m doing something wrong. I got divorced for one. Had a city hall marriage instead of a princess dress and a tiara. Had two children with a deadbeat father – one unplanned before I was even married. After that relationships trickled through my fingers like water. When it comes to the dream of a husband, 2.5 children, the white picket fence and the mini van I have failed miserably. I think that’s it. I feel like I’m a failure. The way people look at me when I tell them I’m still single is like I have terminal cancer. I hate being pitied. I hate thinking I have messed up my life and missed out. It’s not really society’s mind that I have to change on this subject - it’s mine!
Last night a group of us went out for drinks for the birthday of a friend. Most of the girls there were either married or in serious long-term relationships. There were three of us singles, including the birthday girl who was turning 31. The conversation spun to relationships and marriage. One of the girls had been dating a guy for three years and was desperate for him to ask her to marry him. Another was moving in with a guy she had known just months. Another started talking about her wedding. Then there was talk of a girl, seemingly fatally single, who had finally met someone. Everyone seemed to sigh with relief. My eyes glazed over. It never fails. I would just like to go out and enjoy each other’s company. Have a few laughs. Talk about books, movies, plays, politics ... anything besides a reminder of how single girls are not quite right and not very important until they have a partner or a wedding or a baby.
I am going back to the theme of societal pressure to be part of a couple because this is an issue that keeps coming up for me and one that bothers me to no end. Why do I feel such pressure when I don’t even believe you have to have a partner to be happy? I can’t figure out why because I am actually quite content on my own. I am independent and do not sit around the house moping. I can’t quite put my finger on it but it’s like I’m doing something wrong. I got divorced for one. Had a city hall marriage instead of a princess dress and a tiara. Had two children with a deadbeat father – one unplanned before I was even married. After that relationships trickled through my fingers like water. When it comes to the dream of a husband, 2.5 children, the white picket fence and the mini van I have failed miserably. I think that’s it. I feel like I’m a failure. The way people look at me when I tell them I’m still single is like I have terminal cancer. I hate being pitied. I hate thinking I have messed up my life and missed out. It’s not really society’s mind that I have to change on this subject - it’s mine!
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