Social Life
So today I showed some sign of a social life. My friend Kenia and I went down south to get some real Mexican food. It was fun. South of Miami are the fields where they grow all this stuff so you have a lot of Mexican laborers who live there and leave their mark. So all the restaurants have Mexican food. We first went to a place that sold nachos, corn, Mexican Popsicle things made with real fruit juice and fruit, and fresh juice as well. Then we went to go get dinner, tacos and burritos. It was a good time. I was tired by the end since I haven't gone out in a while. I did some of my PT homework but Geo got home in the middle of it and wondered what the heck I was doing. I stopped and talked to him for a bit. We got our car back since his dad couldn't get it to overheat. It just has a leak in the coolant tank. His dad is looking for one and then when he finds one he'll take the car back and fix it.
tomorrow is a holiday so no PT :( I find it helps a lot with my depression. I'm still having issues with it. I'm also having urges to purge again. I haven't talked to Geo about it. I feel guilty about it but I don't know how to tell him. He's going to think I'm making up stuff. When I was having trouble meeting 1,200 calories a day and I was telling him my anorexia might be coming back he said I'm the only one he knows who makes up stuff to feel sick about. So he might not believe me when I say that I've been making myself throw up. Not all the time, but sometimes my stomach would want to throw up because I was so full and I felt like crap so I put my finger down my throat. I don't know if I would have thrown up anyway or not. I really wanted to yesterday and was even gagging a bit, but I was good and didn't do it. I guess I should be proud of that. I have to take victories when I can.
tomorrow is a holiday so no PT :( I find it helps a lot with my depression. I'm still having issues with it. I'm also having urges to purge again. I haven't talked to Geo about it. I feel guilty about it but I don't know how to tell him. He's going to think I'm making up stuff. When I was having trouble meeting 1,200 calories a day and I was telling him my anorexia might be coming back he said I'm the only one he knows who makes up stuff to feel sick about. So he might not believe me when I say that I've been making myself throw up. Not all the time, but sometimes my stomach would want to throw up because I was so full and I felt like crap so I put my finger down my throat. I don't know if I would have thrown up anyway or not. I really wanted to yesterday and was even gagging a bit, but I was good and didn't do it. I guess I should be proud of that. I have to take victories when I can.
Replies
Thats awesome you went and enjoyed some time with a friend. I think i need to do more of that sort of thing but something always stops me from going and actually doing it. When I took a trip to CA back in 2009 i got to have some good mexican food and loved it.
I understand about not wanting to share the ED thoughts with Geo..... i have always hide my thoughts and ED behaviors from my whole family. When i was a teen i was IP and after that i was always so scared to let anyone know i was having problems.... i gues scared someone would notice and make me go get help. Also i think its alot harder for people that dont deal with ED in their own lives to truly undersstand what its like to be going threw it..... its not that they dont care its just they dont understand it.
HugggzZz
sounds like a great time, I am so happy for you!! it is amazing when we do get ourselves out how much fun it really is, I hope you can do it again. proud of you for not purging, and great statement about taking those small victories. I wouldn\'t talk to geo either, I have found that it doesn\'t pay, as I have talked to members of my family and it always ends up badly. hugssss