so weird - accepting things that just 'are'
my sister had that crucial nugget of wisdom ages ago - that 'you' have a hard time accepting
things that 'just are'. I was sitting here having a hard time dealing myself in the downtime.
I noticed I am watching pbs (that's something) - I am writing online and texting back and forth
with other monastics (that's another something.)
I am collecting facts and observations and writing them down (that's something I do a heck of a lot.)
I never accepted it as valid but "it's something." I'll take my meds soon and head to bed- wake time
at 415am. I feel selfish. Things are good, I can be ok with going to sleep tonight. I find myself
coming to a place of recognizing what I choose to do on my own - and yet also know that despite
maybe wanting a more social night - I am ok with 'just the way things are' sometimes :)
Replies
What you’re describing isn’t strange at all. It’s acceptance in its most honest form.
You weren’t doing “nothing.” You were being with what is, watching PBS, writing, talking with fellow monastics, observing and noting. That’s presence, not avoidance. The mind likes to dismiss that as “not enough,” but acceptance doesn’t need drama to be real. That’s not emptiness; that’s a room with the lights on, just no band playing.
The mind likes to say, “This doesn’t count.”...but acceptance doesn’t ask permission from the ego. Acceptance isn’t resignation. It’s saying, “I’m not at war with tonight.” And some nights, that’s the whole prayer.....hugs
Thanks Bob!! You’re amazing!!!