so weird

i am closing my eyes for the night and literally I start to wonder how I should be living

as if there were one way to live

or I seek for a meaningful life 

though routine and ritual, life bench marks like daily prayers, holidays and birthdays are important to me

i sometimes yearn for living a holy life and yet crazily when I have gone to church - the dogma I can't get into.

maybe I need to be in a relationship

maybe this is just because I haven't had work to focus on for a week...

maybe it's just a point of thouught on my life journey.

I can't wait to go to my parents' house tomorrow.

I want to be around them and get outta my head.