So this is what it feels like?
I feel gray today. You know, like cloudy-ish. Which is ironic because it was sunny out today for the first time in forever here (Washington always has rain and clouds!!). I don't really get it. I should be so happy. The weather was beautiful, I bowled 81 this morning (awesome for me, who is taking a class at the college to get better at it), and today is my ten week mark. I made it. I should be so happy. Why am I still sad? Is this what success feels like? Cause I think it sucks. Like seriously. So the question remains if I will continue with this mess. I continue to ask what my motivation is in all of this. Is it for me? Is it for someone else? Why? How? Quitting SI is so hard.... The urges are through the roof, but I've had worse. So I guess I will resist for sure until Friday (when I see my therapist, Laura). Yeah. I just feel like something is missing....
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