so so tired of it all

I def want off this ride. I know god is giving me strength. I feel it more and more each day. I just have to NOT let the negativity back to ruin what he gives me. I continue to pray and I know I will eventually be where I want and need to be. He still has a slight hold on my feelings but I am tugging that line more in my direction every day. I also know that he has not contacted anyone in his family. His brother, his daughters or sons. It's just like he woke up and decided he was an orphan or something. But they continue to call me and I have lots of love and support from all of them. I love them too. They have been here for me thru all of this and I treasure them. You can't not love the in-laws when they have been in your life for 27 years. And my daughters (I don't refer to them as "step") still have my back and I love them so. They are just as important to me as the sons I birthed. And I would never trade my sons in for anyone or anything so ditto for the girls too.