So - So Day... better than some... worse than others

I wish for just once I could honestly say that I've had a hundred percent " good day " with Him ! Is it really too much to ask for to want " everything " to go well for at least one entire day ?! 

I don't think it is.

After all, it's not like I'm expecting a sudden fairy-tale to happen between him and I. I'm not stupid. I have realistic expectations where he is concerned. With him, it's asking a lot - more, or less - to want an average day from start to finish, with no chaotic situations ! 

I have high blood pressure, so I definitely don't need the extra stress from him - at least not every single day ! 

I have been taking medication for my high blood pressure, but even with that any medical professional would tell you that extra stress is not a " good thing " when you're already predisposed to high blood pressure.

It'd be nice if I had a good friend that I could talk to about everything, but that doesn't exist. I have a couple of friends that I could talk to about certain things, but definitely not everything. I've learned about this the hard way; i.e., with Rene. I still haven't heard a single peep from her since the last unfair things she said about my " relationship " with Ray. 

Why she imagined she had the right to judge me for how I'm living my life right now, I don't understand... and I never will !?! 

By her own admission, she hasn't led a perfect life. She's definitely not the poster woman for " perfect mental health " ! HAHAHA ! 

So how can she talk... and try to be the " pot calling the kettle black " ?! 

Next to liars, I can not stand hypocrites !!!!! 

Right now it's about 1:30 AM December 19, 2018.... and Ray's " out for a walk " - ( or at least that's what He calls it ). What I would call it is using the fact that there was one bag of garbage that needed to be taken out, an excuse for going out to make phone calls to " whoever " !!!!..... God only knows WHO ?! 

Do I dare ASK him who he was calling while he was out for his supposed " walk " ?!... OH HELL NO !!!!

I know much better than that !!!!!

After as touchy, grouchy, edgy, quick to yell, quick to criticize, quick to insult, quick to put me down, and quick to try to boss around and control.... as he's been lately - ( over the last 2 to 3 weeks, or so )..... there's NO WAY that I would push things by trying to get a REAL and HONEST answer about WHO he's been calling while out for his " walks " !!!!!