So, My brother and I haven't changed.
I'm sick this week, cold, stuffed up nose, chest congestion, coughing and not been sleeping muc for the last four days. My brother woke me this morning with a phone call and proceeded to start an argument so I hung up on him. Yeah, that sin of sins (read previous journal entries to learn more about hanging up the pnone)
so he calls back and says fuck you you punk before I hang up again.
He calls back a few minutes later to make sure he has actually given the message he needed to give me and asks me a question. We get into another argument but since he was arguing about soemthing that I thought might hopefully get him to realise something that would help us get along better I stayed with it even though it was hard to talk and hurt my throat. But it was no different than most of the other arguments where we talk over each other and neither of us hear each other and neither of us can understand where we come from or why we do anything and hear what we want rather than what is said yet he keeps pushing to try and "get along with me," as he says.
I tell him we can get along fine if he wouldn't bother me, we don't have to be freinds. Ive told him this before but he wont' accept it. He says that everything he does bothers me so how can he stop bothering me. ANd I said that half the time that is true that he does something that irriatets me and I show this by wel, getting irritated and start raising my voice are speaking sharply, etc...
One thing is he keeps asking me what he did inthe past to make me so shrt with him and I tell him lots of small things over a olong time thta must make me irritated when he starts to go in a certain direction showing that he is the same person that did those things to me. He tells me he sin t'that person anymore but he has not in anyway shwon me that he isn't. His words and posturing are just as irritating as they were in the past. And he always says that it is my problem not his that I need to work on it. I tell him I tried to let you know what you do that irritates me so you won't do it, that I try to avoid talking to you so you won't correct me or start an arguement over soemthing stupid but now I have given up I can't get you to help or change so how can I change if you are still causing the same irritations by your repeated inconsideration or ignroing what I have told you and your bullying.
I can comprimise and admit when I am wrong and try and change but if the other side won't do the same then nothing gets any better.I am giving up and just avoiding the situations that allow him to irritate me. But he says that is ignoring the problem. No, it is avoiding the problem there is a big difference. I am unable of ignoring it. I will get irritated if he does soemthing thta irritates me and he wil lbecome instantly hostile or abusive. There is no way to ignore it. Avoidance is the only real means I have to not be bothered by him and become anxious and sick.
I"ve admitted I'm short fused when it comes to my brother but he can't seem to admit that he comes to the table the same way, thinking no matter what he says it is going to irritate me. It seems pretty obvious that if you are talking down to someone, threatening them, calling them a liar, disagreeing with almost everything they say or correcting what they say and jum0ping on words rather than ideas spoken, it is going to be irritating.
So it was another got nowhere call. I really wish he would leave me alone, call when there is a need or something family oriented but he doesn't have to be my friend.
It was nice having this respite of not having to talk to him since Christmas. I hope there is a longer gap between now and the next time. But I doubt there will be because he said he would talk to me later. Oh, how I look forward to that (sarcasm)
yep that's that
so he calls back and says fuck you you punk before I hang up again.
He calls back a few minutes later to make sure he has actually given the message he needed to give me and asks me a question. We get into another argument but since he was arguing about soemthing that I thought might hopefully get him to realise something that would help us get along better I stayed with it even though it was hard to talk and hurt my throat. But it was no different than most of the other arguments where we talk over each other and neither of us hear each other and neither of us can understand where we come from or why we do anything and hear what we want rather than what is said yet he keeps pushing to try and "get along with me," as he says.
I tell him we can get along fine if he wouldn't bother me, we don't have to be freinds. Ive told him this before but he wont' accept it. He says that everything he does bothers me so how can he stop bothering me. ANd I said that half the time that is true that he does something that irriatets me and I show this by wel, getting irritated and start raising my voice are speaking sharply, etc...
One thing is he keeps asking me what he did inthe past to make me so shrt with him and I tell him lots of small things over a olong time thta must make me irritated when he starts to go in a certain direction showing that he is the same person that did those things to me. He tells me he sin t'that person anymore but he has not in anyway shwon me that he isn't. His words and posturing are just as irritating as they were in the past. And he always says that it is my problem not his that I need to work on it. I tell him I tried to let you know what you do that irritates me so you won't do it, that I try to avoid talking to you so you won't correct me or start an arguement over soemthing stupid but now I have given up I can't get you to help or change so how can I change if you are still causing the same irritations by your repeated inconsideration or ignroing what I have told you and your bullying.
I can comprimise and admit when I am wrong and try and change but if the other side won't do the same then nothing gets any better.I am giving up and just avoiding the situations that allow him to irritate me. But he says that is ignoring the problem. No, it is avoiding the problem there is a big difference. I am unable of ignoring it. I will get irritated if he does soemthing thta irritates me and he wil lbecome instantly hostile or abusive. There is no way to ignore it. Avoidance is the only real means I have to not be bothered by him and become anxious and sick.
I"ve admitted I'm short fused when it comes to my brother but he can't seem to admit that he comes to the table the same way, thinking no matter what he says it is going to irritate me. It seems pretty obvious that if you are talking down to someone, threatening them, calling them a liar, disagreeing with almost everything they say or correcting what they say and jum0ping on words rather than ideas spoken, it is going to be irritating.
So it was another got nowhere call. I really wish he would leave me alone, call when there is a need or something family oriented but he doesn't have to be my friend.
It was nice having this respite of not having to talk to him since Christmas. I hope there is a longer gap between now and the next time. But I doubt there will be because he said he would talk to me later. Oh, how I look forward to that (sarcasm)
yep that's that
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